Wednesday, May 27, 2009

BORROWED POEM

Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move
rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
one friend who always makes her laugh...
and one who lets her cry..

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
when to try harder...
and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips,
or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...
but its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone...
even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. ..
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...
and a year...

What Women Should Know About Men

1. If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming to high.

2. Women don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

3. The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you've got sick of him.

4. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probaly lies about other things too.

5. A woman's work that is never done, is the stuff she asked her husband to do.

6. If you want a nice man go for a bald one -- they try harder.

7. Go for younger men. You might as well -- they never mature anyway.

8. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -- "don't" and "stop" (but not used together).

9. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

10. Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out of the bath to pee.

11. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is.

12. Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men -- a women.

13. There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -- strong, caring, loving -- they'd be wrong but you could still use them!

14. Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive and potentially violent -- but they make great pets!

15. Mens brains are like the prison system -- not enough cells per man.

16. Husbands are like children -- they're fine if they're someone else's.

Monday, May 18, 2009

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS

I came home from work and mowed 1/2 the yard, the sun went down before I could get finished. But the sun is shining and Friday when I finally get a day off it's supposed to rain so I have to "make hay while the sun shines" as it were.

I'm supposed to have the weekend off (crosses fingers) so maybe I'll have something to blog about. The roller derby is in Huntsville and I'd like to go, maybe the Gods will smile on me and I'll get to have some live entertainment.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

SUNSHINE ON MY SHOULDER

Finally, a day off and the sun is shining! It seems like it's been raining forever, and the weatherman says that it's gonna rain again tomorrow. I managed to get the jungle that passes for a lawn mowed; I had to go over it twice and still there's stalks of grass that defied my poor tired old mower. At least now you can see the rose that managed to bloom in the midst of the knee high weeds/grass.

I don't have anything to blog about, all work and no play makes for a dull Junebugg.