Sunday, April 30, 2006

ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION BOYCOTT

JackieSue sent this to me and I promised to send it to all my friends. Read it and do what you feel is right.


FROM JACKIE SUE:


I'll do this. Hope you will too! Show that Americans keep our Country and our economy strong and that we don't depend on Illegal Immigrants to support us.

Make the First of May Shopping Day!

Illegal immigrants are planning a nationwide boycott of all goods and services on Monday, May 1st. They have marched in our streets and demanded rights as a reward for breaking our country's law. They hope to show that they have an impact on our economy, they hope to hurt American business, they hope to emotionally and economically blackmail us into submission.

So what can we do?

All Americans who support LEGAL immigration but demand that all immigrants RESPECT our law are asked to act on May 1st.

Wear RED or BLUE that day, (They will be wearing white), and go SHOPPING.

If you have to grocery shop, make it May 1st. Need gas in your car? Fill it up May 1st. Buy Mother's Day gifts, buy Father's Day gifts, buy summer clothes, buy whatever you need, but BUY THAT DAY.

American citizens outnumber illegal immigrants, and we MUST make ourselves heard. Wear red or blue to show your pride in your country, and your opposition to weak border and amnesty
legislation. And GO SHOPPING! Let's make May 1st a day to
remember, and remind Congress that the illegal immigrants they cower before can't vote. We can. And we will.

Make the First of May Shopping Day!

FORWARD THIS TO SHOW YOUR PRIDE IN YOUR
COUNTRY!!!!!


Forward this to everyone on your email list, at work, at school, your friends, your family. We CAN make ourselves heard. We
CAN remind the politicians that WE are the ones that put them in office, and that it's OUR tax dollars they're squandering.

Pass the word along and make your voice heard!

There ya go folks, from Jackie Sue's mouth to your ear.




Friday, April 28, 2006

BOOK MEME

It's raining and all I'm doing is working and sleeping, so for your entertainment I give you another meme. Per the instructions I'm to look at the list of books below, bold the ones I've read, italicize the ones I might read, cross out the ones I won't read, underline the ones on my book shelf, and place parentheses around the ones I've never even heard of. You'll probably be able to tell a lot about me from this meme! Or not.

The Da Vinci Code-Dan Brown
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
The Great Gatsby - Scott F. Fitzgerald
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - J. K. Rowling
The Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Animal Farm - George Orwell
Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
(The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon)
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
1984 - George Orwell
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - J. K. Rowling
(One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden [I've been aiming to get this one]
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut
(The Secret History - Donna Tartt)
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
(Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell)
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
(Atonement - Ian McEwan)
(The Shadow of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon)
The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Dune - Frank Herbert
Sula - Toni Morrison
Cold Mountain - Charles Frazier
The Alchemist - Paulo Coehlo
(White Teeth - Zadie Smith)
The House of Mirth - Edith Wharton
(Purple Hibiscus - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie)
(Songs of Innocence and Experience - William Blake)
Adultery and Other Choices - Andre Dubus
The Iliad and The Odyssey - Homer
(The Stone Angel - Margaret Laurence)
(Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of the World - Haruki Murakami)
(Swann's Way - Marcel Proust, translated by Lydia Davis)
(The Angel of Forgetfulness - Steve Stern)

I know my reading list is eclectic, but most of the books I have on my bookshelves aren't on this list, like Tanith Lee's "Tales of the Flat Earth", the complete works of Louis L'Amour, tons of mystery and SiFi like Koko, lots of C. J. Cherryh and many more. I also have many of the classics, from Dickens to Patricia Highsmith to Robert E. Howard (of Conan the Cimmerian fame). There are too many more to name so I'm not going to try.

Now just because I'm curious, I tag:
Pat
Jackiesue
Bitichitude
Dan
Jay

Note for non-Geeky Types: I'm substituting [ ] for < > or else these hints won't show up. To show delite or crossing out use [del] [/del], and to show underline use [u] [/u] on the HTML page. Hope this helps some of y'all.

SIX WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME?

Man, I gotta get the list down to only 6!!! Jackiesue over at Yellowdog Granny tagged me with this one. It's hard to find weird things about me that I haven't blogged. Here goes:


SIX WEIRD THINGS ABOUT JUNEBUGG

1. By the age of 31 I had been married 4 times, widowed twice (the first time at the ripe old age of 19 and with a 2 month old son) and divorced twice (and no, I didn't kill any of them although the 2 ex-husbands deserved shooting). Been single and loving it ever since then.

2. I've worn a Wings of Freedom motorcycle club property patch, had a long term relationship with a pro-rodeo cowboy, built and drove my own VW off-road rail (dunebuggy), broken and trained horses, welded under a federal nuclear permit, and worked for the government (security clearance and everything)

3. I've supported more sorry non-job-holding males in my lifetime than any Mama alive. No more, no way, no how! Ain't but one thing wrong with being a Sugar Mama, you can never get your money's worth.

4. I believe in a higher power, but not organized religion. The Wiccan Rede and Threefold Law fits my beliefs better than anything else that I've found. I don't claim to be a witch but I believe there are powers some people can harness. I don't believe that any true deity would cast out someone for their sexual orientation, color, or anything else except for pure evil.

"An it harm none, do what thou wilt."

5. I'd rather read than eat. I remember all kinds of useless trivia but can't remember anything to do with numbers. I can tell you about a book I read 3 years ago, the definitions of words that I know but can't pronounce, but I can't remember phone numbers and birthdays.

6. Most of my friends are male. I've never been a "girly girl", I could care less about hair-dos and makeup, and don't have much in common with most females. I'd rather talk cars, fishing, and tools than fashion. I'd much rather mow the yard than clean the house. Although I clean up fairly well, I live in jeans and T-shirts with no make-up and wash & go hair. In spite of that, I get "accosted" (my sister Donna's words, not mine) by strange men in stores all the time, I have no idea why. It's not like I'm some kinda beauty, I'm fat and 50 for God's sake! She and my friend Karen just stand back and snicker at me while I try to get away from fellers following me down the aisles and hemming me up against my car. Traitors! They're supposed to rescue me, that's what you've got relatives and friends for!!

There ya go, folks. I kept it PG rated in spite of some of Donna's suggestions. What I've got stashed in the toybox under my bed is none of your business!!

I'm only gonna tag Donna, because I want to see what she writes about herself after hearing her ideas on what's not normal about her big sister!!! The rest of you can play if you want, just drop a line in the comments so I can be sure to read your answers.

UPDATE: Donna's 6 Weird Things has been posted. Y'all go and check her out.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

KINKY SQUIRREL SEX

I was following a link from Eric's when I stumbled across this:
"Within moments it had bitten into the mat and started to hump it, hard, rubbing his crotch all along the surface and staring at me ....... he was a pretty good looking squirrel himself. Kinda beefy even… you know… the way macho squirrels can be. I imagine any fluffy-tailed mistress would have been happy with him. But maybe fluffy doesn’t work for him".

Now I know it's spring and the time of year that a young male's fancy turns to love, but darn it the squirrels have gotten out of hand!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST

I've taken a stab at spring cleaning, starting with the carport. Now there's a method to my madness! Dirt gets tracked in from the carport; ergo it's useless to clean the inside before preventing the outside from gaining entry to my humble abode on the soles of my heathen male companions who can't be bothered to wipe their feet.

Blackie's doghouse sat on the carport all winter (Have to take care of my baby, can't let her freeze) and she's scattered her cedar bedding all over the place. No matter how often I clean it up or how many shavings I put in there, she slings cedar chips the length of the concrete. Of course, Chane, Drennon and all their assorted buddies track the stuff inside. I swear, most of the time it looks as if I have cedar carpet! The vacuum is starting to think it's part wood chipper.


I moved the doghouse and shoveled up the cedar chips. But when I started moving other things out of the way, a snake ran out from under a cooler and straight at me! Major mistake for snaky-poo, the shovel was right by me and I'm a blood thirsty bitch at the best of times, but especially when I've had the shit scared out of me.

After I murdered the sneaking snake-under-the-cooler, I did my best Fred Sanford having-a- heart-attack impersonation, except instead of yelling "Elisabeth, I’m coming to join you Honey", I grabbed my heart and screamed "SHIT SHIT SHIT!"

I know, not very original, was it? I hope when my time comes, I'll be able to come up with something more profound and original to say than "Shit"! That's not a statement I want to be remembered for.

This wasn't one of my shedding pair of snakes, it was "only"3 1/2' to 4' long. Perhaps one of their children from several years ago? I don’t know how fast these things grow but I hope the rest of them stay out by the pond or somewhere far, far away. I’m getting tired of this invasion of serpents and may have to take offensive measures, like load the guns and declare war.

Monday, April 24, 2006

SHEDDING SKIN


I have two snakes who seem to be permanent residents on my property. Although I’ve never seen them, I know both are quite large because of the size of the shed skins I find in the back yard several times a year. It seems that my concrete patio is perfect for scrapping off old skins to reveal new ones. (If only people could do that, I would love to have a new skin each year!)

One is always over 5’ and the other almost 6’ long. The only snakes in this area that reach that size are chicken snakes and king snakes. Nonpoisonous species, but still enough to give you a heart attack when you step barefoot on one of those skins like I did this morning. Nothing like thinking that you’re fixing to get snake bit to wake you up!

Do snakes mate for life? I’ve never heard of it happening but both skins are always near to each other as if the shedding of old skin is some kind of mating ritual or bonding experience. This has been going on for over 5 years now, and I’ve never spied the adults, but I have found some of their babies, once crawling across my kitchen floor!

I stepped on that one too! It was twilight and I hadn’t turned on the inside lights yet. I was walking to the kitchen garbage can when I felt something roll underneath my foot. When I glanced down, there was a small snake, the size of a pencil, reared up hissing at me. I spun on one foot, dashed outside and grabbed a garden hoe. The little sucker was already across the kitchen, in the hall and headed toward my bedroom when I chopped his teeny, tiny head off. If that little serpent had made it to my bedroom I don’t think I could have ever slept in this house again! I found his brother/sister out on the deck a week later. Seems there had been a snaky orgy going on, and the offspring was wandering around the area.

I’m all for living in harmony with nature, but not when it invades my domain! In a rural area like this one, critters are a fact of life, but when they come inside, it’s me or them! The snakes are welcome to all the rodents they can eat as long as they stay outside. I’ll share my land but the inside is MINE.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

HOT DIGGITY DOG & TOMATOES

Saturday Sweet Thang and I went to the Master Gardener Sale at the Decatur fairgrounds. Now I don't plant a garden but I do have to have me some HOME-GROWN tomatoes. Those store-bought tomatoes taste like cardboard, nothing beats the taste of a sun-rippened tomato fresh off the vine! The flavor just bursts in your mouth with every bite!

I got adventurous this year and bought some experimental hybrid tomatoes, Solar Set and Mountain Fresh.As hot as it's already been, I was afraid that regular tomatoes wouldn't do well, and both these varieties are supposed to be heat tolerant.

We'll see about that if the plants live. I planted them yesterday, and then had to replant them today. My helpful K-9 went out last night and dug them all up.

"Bad Dog" just made her wag her tail. I don't know what I'm gonna do with her! Maybe I can teach her to dig holes where I want to plant stuff instead of digging them up later? Maybe she didn't like the spot where I planted?

Y'all wish me and the tomatoes luck, cause it looks like we're going to need it.

Friday, April 21, 2006

EDUCATED IDIOTS

When looking back over the things I did or did not do in my 50 years of existence, one of my main regrets is the fact that I didn't get a so-called higher education. Although I had the smarts and the grades, I lacked the interest at age 18 to attend college. Being the oldest of 5 girls in a day and age when money was tight and females were still accustomed to being "just" a wife and mother, I wasn't really encouraged to go to college. Now don't get me wrong, I have no doubt that had I had expressed an interest in college, my parents’ would have found a way to make it happen, so the fault was mine. The fact that I was married and pregnant when I graduated canceled out any thoughts of further schooling.

Now to the subject of this post: EDUCATION DOES NOT EQUAL INTELLEGENCE! I have know in my person life, plus worked with, all kinds of engineers, Doctors, and various people with multiple degrees. BUT: Why is it that some folks with all kinds of education and college degrees can talk in several languages, cover whiteboards with complicated math formulas, but don't have the walking around sense God gave a billy goat?

Someone explain this to me! You probably know of the same type of people. I've always heard that Einstein couldn't tie his own shoes, so does this mean that genius precludes common sense?

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

THE GLASS CASTLE

I've mentioned several times on this blog that I love to read. I list reading on my interest/hobby section in all the online forms that I fill out, but I seldom recommend a book. This is one of those few times.

I usually read thriller/mystery and SiFi genres, memoirs don't grab me as a rule . However, the other day I was browsing the discount book table at Mike's Merchandise, a local bargain store that sells just about everything when I found buried treasure!


The book was "THE GLASS CASTLE". This is definitely one of the best novels I have ever read. Right from the first line: "I was sitting in a taxi, wondering if I had overdressed for the evening, when I looked out the window and saw Mom rooting through a Dumpster", I was hooked.

Jeanette Walls, MSNBC gossip columnist, bravely bares her lifelong secret of growing up with her three siblings and having to eat butter for dinner (if she got any dinner at all), trying to make her own braces, constantly having to leave town in the middle of the night to escape arrest and bill collectors, and suffering the whims of her artistic, intelligent, and utterly selfish parents (a brilliant but alcoholic father and a delusional artist-wanta-be mother). The story unfolds from her childhood perspective, from cooking hot dogs at age three and catching on fire, to growing up faster than most of us can probably imagine having to ever do.

It's amazing that she ever lived to tell this wonderfully well written saga. The story is not, however, a "poor me" tale. Walls simply states the facts, but that's all it takes to keep your attention.

I couldn't put this book down. It'll make you laugh and cry at the same time but most of all it will make you appreciate your own life more than every. I highly recommend that you run to your local library and check this book this, but I warn you that you'll probably wind up staying up all night reading it. Jeanette Walls writes the way I only dream of doing.

Monday, April 17, 2006

BELATED EASTER POST

I guess you can tell that Drennon loved his Easter Basket Bucket. A Scooby Doo bucket and 5 remote control cars plus tons of chocolate will find it's way to any little boy's heart. Hey, I'm not above bribery! A Nana's gotta do what a Nana's gotta do.



Speaking of bribery, I promised Sweet Thang that if he put my new grill together, I'd cook a big Easter dinner for him. Who said real men don't read instructions!
See what a hard worker he is when food is involved! Grilled smoked sausage, chicken, and pork chops plus rosemary potatoes, salad and bread grilled outside. YUM! Everyone was stuffed, and it takes a fair amount of food to fill up a man this size!

I hope y'all had a Happy Easter, cause I know we did.

DIGITAL DILDO

Now I've heard it all! Yahoo News:


When America's top sex researchers gathered recently to discuss the next decade in their field, some envisioned a future in which artificial sex partners could cater to every fantasy.............A field dubbed "teledildonics" already allows people at two remote computers to manipulate electronic devices such as a vibrator at the other end for sexual purposes.

That's one way to prevent the spread of AIDS, I guess.

'PUTER WOES

My home computer is giving me fits. It wouldn't go online, but I think I might have that whooped. It's still slow and acting weird but I'm working on it. Hope everyone had a Happy Easter.

I'm at work now. I'll try to post from home later.

Friday, April 14, 2006

GOOD FRIDAY FISHING

HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY, Y'ALL!

I worked off midnights this morning, came home and made breakfast for the troops. Then Drennon (the grandson) and I went out and dug up a coffee can full of worms. We were going fishing!

Chane, Drennon, and I loaded up and went to my parents' farm and spent all day fishing in the stock pond. It's full of bream, most of them small, but as soon as you toss a hook in the bobber (or cork for you Yankees) will take off. Kids don't care how big the fish is as long as they catch a lot of them. We stopped counting at 50 something and that's just the ones that Drennon caught.

No fish were harmed in this story, all were caught and released but I'm afraid that none of the worms survived.






What is it with worms and little boys? Why do they always love creepy crawly things?


















Drennon shows how to cast. That's my niece Brittany in the background.












We made Brittany bait her own hook. She was "Yuck! Worm Guts" but she wanted to fish bad enough to tough it out. "If you're old enough to fish, you're old enough to bait your own hook and take the fish off the line by yourself", one of my Mom's favorite quotes .












Reel it in boy! Don't let it get away! Looks like Drennon hooked a monster, or at least a guppy.


Drennon & Brittany show off some of the day's catch.

This Quinn, my nephew, on the left, and my sister Teresa, his mother, on the right.







Don't you just love the pose here! Drennon insisted on wearing those clunky rubber boots. I don't see how he kept from burning up, it was 87 degrees today.













Nothing beats a little quality Father & Son time. I grew up fishing with my Mom and sisters. Some of my best memories are of her sitting on the bank watching a bobber while we talked about anything and everything. I hope that we're building memories that turn out half as good for Drennon to think back on once he's grown.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

BOOBILICIOUS T-SHIRT

I 'm working the midnight shift (6 P.M. to 6 A.M.) so I sleep all day. When I woke up this afternoon and stumbled out of the shower (which explains the wet-head and fresh scrubbed face look), I found that the postman had delivered this Booblicious T-Shirt from Chicken aka NonGirlfriend who resides all the way over in the great state of Texas.

No, I do not sleep in the shower!! I just don't function well until I stand under the shower for a while, which means that I crawl out from the bed and blindly make my way to the tub where I try to get at least half my brain synapses before I attempt anything complicated like operating the Mr. Coffee.

For those of you who are near sighted but still interested, what's printed across the front of the shirt is:
NONGIRLFRIEND
IT'S MORE FUN THIS WAY

Thank you Chicken! The rest of y'all can eat your hearts out, this shirt is mine all mine.

Big Boobs run in my family. All 5 of us girls were cursed that way, and yes it is a curse. My sister Donna did a hilarious post a while back about it in To Boob or Not to Boob. I quote:
"the Tittie Fairy, that fictional nymph of some otherworldly beginnings who flitters around with one broken wing, a bent halo and a crooked wand, bestowing burgeoning mammary glands to innocent female children in the dead of night while they dream of ways to get even with mean little boys"

Y'all ought'a go over and read the whole thing, I promise that Donna's writing make you laugh out loud!! And it'll make all you small breasted women think twice about getting a boob job.

Chicken, once again,Thank You.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

WHAT NOT TO TEACH

Why is it that every time Alabama hits the national news, it makes us look bad?

As you probably know, President Bush is the target of a new "Google bomb" where he's labeled an "Asshole" in a vulgar filmstrip that pops up when the word Asshole is entered into the popular search engine, but have y'all heard about Steve White of West Limestone High School in Lester, Alabama (who also happens to be running for the District 4 seat in the Alabama House of Representatives & is a Democrat from Athens) showing his 8th grade class the slide show about Bush. (Links to news articles)


Here's the slide show in question. Watch it and see what you think. The filmstrip opens with black and white clips of war and what appears to be the Great Depression. Then it shows color photos of President George Bush and his cabinet with profane captions under his picture while the song "Asshole" by the Boston-area band Big Jim's Ego plays in the background.



I agree that a teacher has no business showing this to students and should be disciplined. School is the wrong forum for politics and the 8th grade is a little too young to be indoctrinated. I'd bet a months pay that it didn't show anything that they haven't already seen or done, but that's beside the point. White was just plain wrong and that's a fact.

Why the heck couldn't that dang teacher been a Yankee? Those trailor trash fools making idiots of themselves for 5 minutes of fame on Jerry Springer make Southerners look bad enough!

Technorati Tags: Alabama, Bush+Film, Politics, Steve+White, Alabama+Teacher, Google+Bomb, Asshole+Slideshow,

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

HIGHER EDUCATION

DB has requested everyone to go visit him and give your responses to several questions/statements for a research paper he's developing for class. He promises not to use any names in his paper and you don't have to be a US citizen to reply.

Now's your chance to give your opinion on lots of social items like immigration, equal rights and equal pay, discrimination, US politics and even who killed JFK. There are no wrong or right answers, it's your thoughts and feelings that count.

Go visit and while you're there, take the time to scan some of the other readers' answers. I promise it'll make for some though provoking reading.

Monday, April 10, 2006

SOLOMON'S DECISION

Never Never Never volunteer to be the executor of your parents' estate ESPECIALY if there’s not an existing will! You can never satisfy everyone no matter how hard you try. You're responsible for all the financial aspects of the deal like lawyer’s fees and court costs that have to be paid up front. All this means that no matter what you do, you're the referee and all decisions are wrong, plus your checkbook gets a hefty workout.

I've been back and forth between family pow-wows, lawyer's offices, surveyor's offices and we're just getting started. Some (one in particular) want nothing but money of which there is none, and others want land which has to be surveyed and divided. But how to divide it? There are 80 acres with limited road frontage and two houses to be divided between 5 of us.

Actually, so far we've done fairly well. No one has pulled anyone else's hair out and the name calling hasn’t started yet. We all want to be fair (at least the majority of us do), but there’s no way to do this without someone getting a few dollars worth more than someone else. Greed is an ugly emotion and I'm scared to death that this will wreck our family. When was the last time that YOU saw 5 women agree on anything this big?

Wish us luck and say a little prayer to whatever Deity you favor because it looks like we're going to need all the help we can get.

As you were. Rant over. I feel better now.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

CHICKEN AND EGG FESTIVAL

Last night's storm front kinda put a damper on our day, but the crowds were still out in force. The temps were down in the 50s and mud puddles abounded, to the delight of all the kids who splashed and stomped up a storm (pun intended). They had to cancel the hot air balloon, the wind was still whipping pretty good, but there was still plenty to do.

Here you see a little boy bowling with a frozen chicken. He got a spare and a prize. We might see him on TV bowling for dollars one day.


These lovely ladies are doing the Chicken Dance (and no, I didn't do any dancing. I've got 2 left feet and no rhythm at all!)

This is Nugget, the festival mascot.

Here are some banners from some of the Bar-B-Que cook-off contestants. Don't you just love their names!



I might have to steal this one!







There were bikers everywhere, they rode in on the Chicken Run Bike Ride.


This club is Bikers Against Child Abuse

















I told you the wind was up. Here's a pic of a Wild Haired Junebugg













Of course, you can't have a RedNeck Event without NasCars




I don't think I'm going to hang around to see Dr. Hook, it's too darn cold! I've got a warm man to cuddle with, and he can do a lot more for me than the Dr. can!

And finally, a pic of the T-shirts that I scored!

Friday, April 07, 2006

SHOPPING & STORMS

I spent yesterday loafing around Decatur with my sister Teresa, starting with a leisurely lunch on the outside patio of the Market Street Cafe & Deli. We had the perfect day for it, sunny with a mild breeze, and the view of the Tennessee River from our table was wonderful. So was the cute young waiter who brought our orders and cocktails, and we both tipped him accordingly.

Afterward we went on a mild shopping spree where I bought several pairs of really cute shoes that I needed like I need another hole in the head. I couldn't help it, I have a shoe fetish. Now I need another closet just for my footwear.

Did I mention that I took vacation days Sat and Sun for the Chicken & Egg Festival? Now the weatherman is trying to screw me over with this headline: Forecaster: Threat of tornadoes, hail today. Let's hope I don't get blown away and all the clouds are gone by in the morning, I'd hate to waste a vacation day.

The radio is shouting gloom and doom, keep fresh batteries in your flashlights and radios, go to a safe place, yada yada yada. BUT I'm at work, so I don't get the luxury of laying low in a storm cellar listening to the radio. Y'all keep your fingers crossed and I'll let you know how "she blows"later.

Technorati Tags: Shopping, Market Street Cafe & Deli, Chicken & Egg Festival, Moulton

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

WEEKEND PLANS

For the love of whatever or whoever it is that you love, go to Miss Jay's and help poor Jason out. His balls have gone into hiding and need moral support to come out to play. Miss Jay misses them terribly and has asked for your help.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just did a quick turn around. For you folks who've been lucky enough to have never worked shift work, this means that I got off work at 6 A.M. yesterday and had to be back at 6 A.M. this morning. Needless to say, I'm not at peak performance level

All is not lost, though. I took this coming Saturday and Sunday off to go to our first festival of the year, Moulton's 2nd Annual Chicken & Egg Festival.



This year the headline star is Alabama native Dr. Hook aka Ray Sawyer.
For those of you too young to remember, Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show were once described by Rolling Stone as the "clown princes of Seventies Pop."(I graduated high school in 1974, this is my generation of music)

Known as much for their crazy onstage behavior as for a solid string of 1970s chart-toppers, among their zany antics the band once dressed up as glitter rockers and played the opening act to their own headlining show totally unbeknownst to the audience.

Co-fronted by founding member Ray Sawyer (dubbed "Dr. Hook" for his trademark eye-patch), the band spent more than ten years on the music charts, earning thirty-five gold and platinum records for country-rock hits that included "Cover of the Rolling Stone," "Sylvia's Mother," "Once Sixteen" and "Sharing the Night Together."

As you can see he's aged just a tad in the past few years, but none of us escapes Father Time. Of course, Ray never was what you would call a "hunk" but the man sure can sing.















We'll also be listening to award-winning blues artist Willie King plus there's a Battle of the bands featuring:

Blackeyed Blonde - Classic Rock
Victim - classic/Modern/Southern Blues
Boochie Shepherd - Soft Alternative Rock
Render - Alternative/Metal/Blues Mix
6th Hour - Contemporary Christian Rock
The Cycle - Punk/Alternative
The Great Unwashed - Progressive Rock .


The Weather Channel is calling for a chance of rain this weekend, but I hope they're wrong. I heard that someone will be giving hot air balloon rides and that's something I've never tried. I may have to get me a bird's eye view of the goings on. It never pays to pass up an opportunity and I've always been a little bit of an Adrenaline Junkie.

I'm going to start applying self-tanner tonight so I'll look as decent as a 50 year old woman can in shorts. Y'all come on out and spend the day with us, I'll even buy you a plate of hot wings.

FYI: Born and raised in Mobile Alabama, Ray Sawyer got his first job as a professional musician at 14, playing drums with a local band. His own style was indelibly marked by the amalgam of black and white Southern music that kept Alabama dance halls hopping. "When you play Mobile, you play either country or Rhythm and Blues, though down there they are just about the same thing," Sawyer explains.
He got his trademark eye patch following a 1967 automobile accident that left him without his right eye and kept him in a wheel chair for a year. When he was back on his feet, Sawyer hit out for Los Angeles, working his way back east where the core of Dr Hook was formed in time to record Shel Silversteins score to the Dustin Hoffman film "Who is Harry Kellerman and Why is he saying these terrible things about me?"

Technorati Tags: Dr. Hook, Moulton, Chicken & Egg Festival

Monday, April 03, 2006

Mongolian VD

You guys might want to skip this one ;-}
~~~~~~~~~~~~

While in China, a man is very sexually promiscuous, and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later, and the doctor says,"I've got bad news for you, ... You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare,and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it."

The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot, or something, and fix me up, Doc!"

The doctor answers, ... "I'm sorry, there's no known cure, we're going to have to amputate your penis!"

The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!"

The doctor replies,"Well, it's your choice, go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice."

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease.

The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims,"Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease!"

The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that,but, what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate, and amputate my penis!"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs,"Stupid American doctor, always want to operate, make more money that way, no need to operate!"

"The man replies,"Oh, Thank God!"

"Yes," says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry, wait two weeks, Fall off by itself, You save money!"

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO "HUH"

Look and see if your birth month describes you.

JANUARY - Stubborn. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Never looks at people's flaws or weaknesses. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tense. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Loving and loyal. Loves children. Has great social abilities. Money cautious, can budget successfully.

FEBRUARY - Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy.. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH - Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decor. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL - Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY - Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE - Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite. Has lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitates, tends to put things off. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Makes friends easily. Shows character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Easily bored. Fussy and stubborn. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious.

JULY - Fun to be with. Secretive. Sometimes, difficult to understand. Quiet unless excited or tense. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation for hard work. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly, but not always approachable. Emotionally temperamental. Moody and easily hurt. Witty. Not mean or revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and illogical things. Sensitive and forms friendships carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Broods about the past and misses old friends. Quiet, homey person. Has difficulty making new friends. Prone to having dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST - Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER - Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Stubborn. Quiet. Uncomfortable if have to talk to a group. Calm. Sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Secretive. Loves sports and leisure. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships.

OCTOBER - Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Sexy. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making new friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Day dreamer. Loyal. Opinionated. Does not care what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Honest, does not pretend. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER - Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homey. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions.

DECEMBER - Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short-tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical

I'm November and dang if this doesn't get close, except it left out "hold's grudges" and I'm a little bit talkative. How do you measure up?

FOOTBALL FAUX PAS

This was actually on TV...The commentators paused and didn't say a word...




Arkansas Razorback players Clarke Moore, Brett Goode and Casey Dick need to stop hanging out on the sidelines!

Do you think this is what the cheerleaders are looking for? Go Team Go!

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Laughs from Employee Performance Evaluations

For everyone who has ever had an evaluation - just remember, it could have been worse. These are actual quotes taken from federal government employee performance evaluations.

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."

10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

11. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

24. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes."

32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

THE BATTLE TO BAN BIRTH CONTROL

There I was, happily following links from DB to Becky to Miss Bliss , spreading birthday wishes and semi-good cheer, when out of the blue I was shocked when I stumbled across this article from Salon.com:



The battle to ban birth control


Using bogus health facts to scare women about the "dangers" of contraception, a fledgling movement fights for a culture in which sex = procreation.
By Priya Jain

....Mary Worthington ....To spread her anti-birth-control gospel, this month she launched No Room for Contraception, a clearinghouse for arguments and personal testimonials on this subject. NRFC joins other anti-contraception Web sites like Quiverfull and One More Soul.

....She is also vehemently opposed to abortion. But NRFC doesn't even address abortion; its sole purpose is to "prove" that the pill and the IUD cause health problems and destroy women's fertility, that condoms lead to the spread of sexually transmitted diseases by making people believe that sex can be completely safe, that contraception destroys marriages by rendering sex an act of pleasure rather than one of procreation". Emboldened by the fact that the president and the two most recent Supreme Court nominees are anti-choice, a recent antiabortion victory in South Dakota, and legislative success restricting access to emergency contraception, groups like NRFC are shifting their focus and resources away from abortion and putting their energy into restricting birth control.

Still, the anti-birth-control movement's efforts are making a significant political impact: Supporters have pressured insurance companies to refuse coverage of contraception, lobbied for "conscience clause" laws to protect pharmacists from having to dispense birth control, and are redefining the very meaning of pregnancy to classify certain contraceptive methods as abortion (link to full length 5 page article, hope it works)



This is some scary stuff! Talk about Americans losing their rights. Go, read, leave comments. There are links to blog articles and letters and comments about this movement.

I'm shocked at how many people are in support of this atrocity of a movement. What happened to the bond between a man and a woman? When did married love become evil? Are we headed back to the Puritan days when it was a sin to laugh or be happy or to hold hands? Will we be seeing stocks in the public square waiting for some sinner to be put on public display?

Also go check out The War on Women: A Modest Proposal at TENNESSEE GUERILLA WOMEN where you can get your Red Burka T-Shirt..



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