WHY, OH WHY.......

*Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
*Why do banks charge a fee on " insufficient funds " when they know there is not enough money?
*Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
*Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
*Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
*Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
*Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
*Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
*Whose idea was it to put an " S " in the word " lisp "?
*If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
*Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
*Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
*Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
*Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
*Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
*How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
*When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, " It's all right? "
*Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, " That hurt, you idiot? "
*Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
*In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
*How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

***And my FAVOURITE......The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.