6 WORD STORY

I got the idea from here and thought "What a great idea for a post!"

Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words
("For sale: baby shoes, never worn.")
and is said to have called it his best work.

These are some of my favorite examples given in the article:

Longed for him. Got him. Shit.- Margaret Atwood
With bloody hands, I say good-bye.- Frank Miller
The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.- Orson Scott Card

I even found this where the author composed 6 Word Stories to match her Flicker Photos. So I guess I need to write mine and then I want y'all to post your 6 Word Story in the comments. OK, how hard can it be? Only 6 words, here goes nothing.......

Potato peels. Bloody knife. Band-aid. Ouch!

I know, not great writing. So what if I used band-aid as one word!!! It has a hyphen so I'm gonna keep it as one word. Let's see YOU do better.

BODY IMAGE

“I used to have a body like this”.

I flashed the picture of a skinny, bikini clad, hard body, anorexic 20-something model on the cover of Fitness magazine at Sweet Thang as he gave me a much deserved foot rub.

“Yeah, I remember when you looked like that”.

One of my patented over-the-glasses go-to-hell looks.

“You know Baby, you still look like that to me.”

Smart man, very very smart man………

WORKOUT

THE HARDER I TRY.......

It came out of the dark and hit me like a ten pound hammer. That damn craving, the one I thought was gone for good. My mouth filled with slobber and I strangled the steering wheel in a white-knuckled death grip. I gulped air, practicing those deep breathing exercises that’s supposed to help and all the while hungered for a smoke with every atom of my being.

Thank whatever deity that was looking after me, at 3:30 AM on rural highway 33 as it wound down Courtland mountain with moonlight sifting through the woods and coyotes' eyes gleaming in the dark, there was nowhere to buy a pack and no one to bum off of; I was safe from temptation. After checking the mirror to make sure I wasn’t foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog I drove the rest of the way into work and hit the gym, hoping to sweat out this devilish hankering for a cancer stick.

I’ve been soooooooo good for so long. Why now, after weeks of being smoke free, do I crave the damn things? When will I be free from this weakness? I haven’t even attempted a diet, just tried to stay smoke-free and away from the lure of other smokers.

I come from the age when smoking was considered "grown up" and "romantic". You know, back in the stone ages before Uncle Sam let us all know that tobacco was a killer. Watch any old movie, the hero always lights his lady love's cig. Then you have the gratuitous dual "smoking in the bed after sex" scene. Hell, back then smoking was cool and sexy and almost everyone lit up. Now old folks like me are fighting the habit, and some of us are fighting a losing battle.

Almost my entire family smoked back then, most of them still do. The habit contributed greatly to my Mom's death; so I know it's bad for me, that it stinks and is a nasty habit. But damn it's hard to give up!

Work opened a really nice gym on the plant site and I’ve been going in early on days and staying over after midnights in the hope of gaining a little muscle and thinking perhaps my gasping for breath on the cardio portion would help me resist the siren call of tobacco. I usually do 10 minutes of stretches, 20 minutes of cardio, 20 minutes of weight training, 20 more minutes of cardio and then a final 10 minutes of stretches. I've even conquered the incline sit-up bench! Not too shabby for an over-the-hill old broad who sits on her arse 12 hours a day for a living.

The plan was to get off of tobacco, get in semi-shape and then work on the food portion of my “get healthier.” plan. When you pass the age of 50 you have to work a lot harder on getting in shape. Plus I’m a hedonist so I’ve been putting off the diet part; I didn’t think I could give up good food and smoking at the same time.

Oh well, I guess it's back to one day at a time. I've resisted Demon Tobacco, now if I can just kick my honey bun habit.......

Gettin' Old

You know you're getting old when you get dirt on your boobs and not one of the hard-ankles that you work with offer to help dust them off..........

ONLINE BOOK RESOURCE

Working midnight shift, on the few occasions that things run smoothly, it sometimes gets hard to stay awake. I usually resort to covert blogging, smuggling in a verboten book (no VIPs here at 2 in the A.M. to ask if it's work related) or mindless eating. However, several days ago while cruising the web I struck pay dirt!

I happily stumbled on The Online Books Page, which is a"website that facilitates access to books that are freely readable over the Internet. It also aims to encourage the development of such online books, for the benefit and edification of all." In other words, it doesn't host books but instead links to ones already on the web. The page formats are whatever the author or poster selected, so you find everything from plain text to wonderful artwork and some of the works are really old obscure writings that wouldn't see the light of day without being on the web.

It has everything from novels to poems, short stories and history, fact and fiction, written by authors both known and nobody. If you have a book or short story already on the web you can have it listed there for free. All this has given me access to stories and information that I would have never found before and damn if I don't love it!

I'm currently reading "The Ape Man" by James Ogilvy (1834-1914) which is sourced from the ERBZine, The Official Edgar Rice Burroughs Tribute and Weekly Webzine Site (owners Bill and Sue-On Hillman love ERB, whom they have dubbed "Master of Imaginative Fantasy Adventure Creator of Tarzan® and "Grandfather of American Science Fiction") as "The Ape-Man: his Kith and Kin A collection of texts which prepared the advent of Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs". I don't know if old Edgar ever read the story, but it follows along the same lines As Tarzan and is definitely keeping me awake!

Check it out some time, it makes for some interesting browsing and you never know what forgotten gem you might uncover. Happy reading, y'all.

BONUS: Check out the picture stating ONLINE BOOKS in my sidebar, it links to a page with lots more online book resources!

BURPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Can you OD on food? I think I’ve turned into a food zombie this week! You know what I mean, one of those walking talking overstuffed brainless eating machines. Sweet Thang’s relatives from several outlaying states came home for the holidays; so as a result the entire week has gone by in a blur of gluttony and “Now which one is she?” I'm good at remembering faces but names elude me and this week I was in the midst of lots of unknown folks.

The grill and fish fryer smoked like wildfires, TWO ice-cream freezers sat on the patio whirling and churning all manner of creamy goodness (they made strawberry, coconut, and peach ice-cream), friends and family made a constant parade of covered dishes emitting savory aromas, cakes pies and deserts lined the kitchen counter, and the air conditioner rumbled incessantly in a losing battle to cool down a house where both the stove and oven worked nonstop and the doors never stayed shut. I guess it's true, "Nothing says lovin' like something from the oven".

Everyone ate till they 'bout popped then sat around moaning, groaning, burping, farting and napping until it was time to do it all again. About sundown the game boards, dominoes and cards came out and the house echoed with catcalls and taunts because the entire clan are completive and love to best each other at anything. The house was packed with people and a loving atmosphere; at bed time they were draped over every couch and chair plus the kids camped out in the yard, all the little boys terrorizing the girls with spooky stories and then slipping up in the dark to scratch on the tent or make “spooky” noises. The crowd started arriving on Saturday and most of them left on Friday, although one or two are still lingering.......

This is the first time my family hasn’t gotten together for the 4th. I didn’t even buy any fireworks (the grandmonster was at his house). It felt kinda weird so I’m glad I had somewhere to go and people to keep me company. I guess with the passing of both of my parents it’s to be expected that all the old traditions would fall apart but it still doesn’t feel right. I miss all the sisters, nieces and nephews getting together. I’m afraid that before long we’ll be like me and my multitude of cousins, strangers meeting in town and thinking “That looks like Shelia, but it’s been so many years ……. Should I speak or wait to see if she recognizes me?”

Oh well; time moves on, and I guess, so should I. Besides I’ve got my blog family to keep me company and listen to me rant and rave (you do listen, don't ya?).

Hope everyone had a good holiday. I think I need to go to the gym and work off some of this ice-cream that has settled on my arse........

RAIN, RAIN

Hallelujah! It’s finally raining in North Alabama! Although we really need a slow steady rain that lasts for days on end, I’ll settle for these hit or miss thunderstorms that rolled in over the weekend. Mother Nature has been celebrating the 4th of July with thunder, lighting, some gusty winds and even a small tornado or 2; but it’s so dry here that everyone will take any moisture that they can get and be tickled about it.

We’ve been under the highest warning level of drought here in ‘Bama. The powers-that-be had even banned fireworks on the 4th, but after receiving all that wonderful precipitation the burn ban has been lowered to allow sparklers, firecrackers, and any other form of "boom stick" that doesn’t shoot up in the air. My grandmonster is so tickled that he couldn’t wait to light up the night. I'm gonna miss all the dazzling light shows, but after seeing all those wildfires on CNN I'd just as soon not risk it.

Sweet Thang is hobbling around on a walker, looking like a hunkered over old man; but hey, its lots better than the wheelchair! He’s actually starting to get around a little faster, although he’s still a long way from being able to chase me around the house, darn it! At least he's semi-mobile and we're working on him being able to get into and out of my car so we can go places. He's so tired of being house bound that he's threatened to tie his wheelchair to the bumper and let me drag him. One of Sweet Thang's wishes for a 1st outing is going to see the Transformers (guess he's just a big kid after all.)

His Mom and Dad have out-of-town company staying with them this week, so with Sweet Thang already staying there, they’ve got a houseful. They a busy social life anyway, and now they have parties, fish fries and bar-be-ques planned for the entire week. Hey, free food and I don't have to cook? Count me in, I'll bring paper plates and plastic cups in holiday colors so as not to be a bum!

Between Sweet Thang and the grandmonster it sounds like my calendar for the week is full. Y'all have a happy and safe 4th, and don't forget what the day symbolizes besides food and fireworks.