Showing posts with label Habits. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Habits. Show all posts

Saturday, May 17, 2014

OUT OF A JOB

This is it, the end of life as I know it.
I've worked all my life but starting Monday morning I'll be out of a job. Compulsory retirement. Used abused and tossed away like a snotty Kleenex. 35 years invested in a career and suddenly I'm unemployed (along with hundreds of other mill employees). I understand about business but that doesn't help, especially when our plant made more profit than any other in our sector last year.
I could go back to school but after getting a 2 year degree I'll be 60-61 and who wants to hire an old woman? Plus I was interested in computer programming/security and I've been informed in no uncertain terms that "it's a young person's field".
I have no social life outside of work. All my friends are married and their husbands consider a single woman a threat.
I don't date, haven't in years. Most of the men my age aren't interested in women my age.
I won't have money to travel like I dreamed in my retirement fantasies.
Enough bitching; time to put on my big girl panties and get on with it. Donna says that I can join her in a life of leisure and poverty. Guess that's my new life plan….

Thursday, December 19, 2013

OVERHEARD AT WORK

When I was young we were so poor that the only heat in the  house was the fireplace, so in the winter we would all sleep on pallets on the floor in the living room. The house was so old that the wind would blow through cracks in the floor & ruffle the quilts we were lying on. One morning when I woke up I found lots of little "glass" balls lying around on the floor. I gathered them all up and lined them up on the fireplace hearth trying to figure out what they were while warming up.

Suddenly they started to melt,  POP POP POP, and an awful stink filled the room.

THEY WERE FROZEN FARTS!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

MY ADDICTION

I blame my sister Donna for my addiction.

True, in the past I had dabbled and experimented on my own. Nothing hardcore you understand. Just a taste, only once in a great while, to see if it still felt as good as the last time. Never enough to dig deeply into my pocketbook nor draw attention to my habit. Only quite a little personal fancy to mix color and designs in a way that made me happy.
After a while Donna slowly started to lead me astray. First she had me printing quilt patterns off for her. Then I started helping her to mix tones and patterns; offering my opinions like I knew what I was talking about when Donna had always been the artistic one of us. And she listened!  
And then it happened. I've started hoarding fabric in every hue known to man and a few patterns that had to be inspired by either drugs or insanity. I dream of quilt designs and new ways to combine different blocks to make something that is strictly mine. I now lust after color and texture and the mixing of different textiles into something that hopefully will become a simi-work of art where before I was content to ooh and ahhh over someone else's efforts.
The lawn is overgrown, the flowerbed has a fine crop of weeds, the housework is weeks behind and still I spend all my spare time enveloped in my
FABRIC OBSESSION.
And it's all Donna's fault.



Vicki  Waters

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

COONDOG QUILTS

Coon hunting is an old and time honored Southern tradition where men go out in the fall to let their prize hounds run through the woods in search of a raccoon. My sister Donna & I have been making Coondog Quilts in honor of our Dad, Arbon Wayne "RED" Waters, who was a coon hunting fanatic. All his dogs were named "Blue" no matter their color or breed. He very seldom killed anything, just went out with his buddies & listened to the dogs run. I can still remember him coming in late at night, smelling of the cold & woods, talking about how some wily old coon gave Blue a run for his money before going to tree. He could tell all his dogs apart by sound of their bark alone & know if they were running or barking "treed". The quilt on the left is mine & the one on the right is Donna's.

 
Love you Dad, and still miss you every day
 
 

Friday, January 04, 2013

12 Ways to Deal With A Toxic Family/Family Member.

[BORROWED POST]

Breaking up with a friend, boyfriend or girlfriend is one thing and there’s a lot of advice out there for doing it, but what about a family break-up?
Most of us are not in a position to “just leave” nor do we feel we want to, or that it’s the right thing to do. So what do we do when a toxic family member (or members) is literally ruining out lives? How do we deal with the feeling of obligation, guilt, confusion and heartache?
It is important to note that not everyone’s family is there for them to lean on, to call on or to go home to. Not every family is built on the premise of interconnectedness, support and stability. Sometimes family simply means that you share a bloodline. That’s all. Some families build you up and some suck your energy dry.
There are relationships and friendships that just aren’t fixable—this includes family. There are situations that you can endure for only so long before you’ve grown them. There may come a crucial a time when you have to separate yourself from your family in order to do what is best for you and possibly for them.

In many respects, the way we were treated by our family ends up being the same treatment we offer the world.

Often times the signal and energy we put out into the world is similar to or exactly what we have experienced by others. And for most of us, this influential force has been our family. Think about it. Think about just how much the interaction, or lack there of, from our family, sets the tone for the quality of energy we give off during our lifetime.

What is unacceptable treatment?

Rejection, abandonment, not taking the time to get to know you or to be in your life, making you feel unwelcome, someone being competitive or hypercritical of you, pressuring or forcing you to be someone you are not, blaming, ostracizing, manipulating, belittling, neglecting and abusing you…the list goes on and on and on. These types of experiences can make a deep imprint on our hearts and inhibit our ability to react without them being present in the back of our mind’s. Our reactions to life become sceptical, doubtful, fearful and we more often see the dark instead of the light in both people and situations.
These negative experiences can jade us for a lifetime, unless we learn to do whatever it takes to get ourselves into a positive nurturing environment and replace negatively influenced reactions with positive ones.

What are the signs indicating that you could use a break or change?

-Your own health and mental well-being is damaged
-You feel emotionally, physically and/or spiritually injured
-The relationships with your immediate family/spouse/partner is suffering
-There is violence, physical and/or emotional abuse
-There is substance abuse
-There are constant struggles for power
-There is unnecessary distrust and disrespect

What to do, how to get out…

1. Get group help. If it’s possible and your family/family member is up for it, get counselling.
2. If it’s possible move out. Move in with a friend, your partner, an extended family member. Get to a place where people want to be with you, try to move into a nurturing environment.
3. Accept your parents or family member’s limitations. Know that you don’t have to repeat their behaviour. You are not them.
4. Allow yourself to get angry. Use it productively. Exercise. Do sports. Use art and creative expression. Write in a journal. Don’t withhold your emotions.
5. Seek guidance for yourself. Talk to someone, a counsellor, a life coach, your yoga teacher—anyone who will listen, someone you feel comfortable with. Ask for help with change and with taking risks.
6. Limit your time. Do whatever it takes to limit the amount of time you have to spend with the toxic family/family member. Limit visits, holidays, do what you can to prevent as much conflict as possible.
7. Set healthy boundaries. Try to not allow yourself to get sucked back in. You can love and wish them the best from a distance.
8. Learn ways to protect yourself. Practice meditation. Learn to be patient with yourself and others.
9. Become aware of yourself. Observe your reactions. Become more self-aware in order to break negative patterns as much as you can.
10. Practice doing good things for yourself. Do things that build self-esteem. Do things you enjoy. Invite others that love you along.
11. Create balance in your life. Take care of yourself physically and eat a balanced healthy diet. Be aware and be cautious of things you may do compulsively (eating, shopping, drinking, etc)
12. Take charge of your life and your happiness. Don’t wait for others to give it to you.

Is it wrong to hold grudges (is life too short)?

Letting go can prove to be more helpful (even life saving) than grasping at toxic strings, looking for what ifs or chasing disillusioned beliefs. At the end of the day, we are all certainly in this together, but each of us have an honest obligation to do what is best for our selves. You can be a lantern of hope, you can lead my example but you can’t force anyone to change.

Have you experienced a family break up?

Friday, January 13, 2012

FRIDAY THE 13TH

Friday the 13th, just the facts madam:
'The most widespread superstition'
The sixth day of the week and the number 13 both have foreboding reputations said to date from ancient times. It seems their inevitable conjunction from one to three times a year (there will be three such occurrences in 2012) portends more misfortune than some credulous minds can bear. According to some sources it's the most widespread superstition in the United States today. Some people refuse to go to work on Friday the 13th; some won't eat in restaurants; many wouldn't think of setting a wedding on the date.
How many Americans at the beginning of the 21st century suffer from this condition? According to Dr. Donald Dossey, a psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of phobias (and coiner of the term paraskevidekatriaphobia, also spelled paraskavedekatriaphobia), the figure may be as high as 21 million. If he's right, no fewer than eight percent of Americans remain in the grips of a very old superstition.
Exactly how old is difficult to say, because determining the origins of superstitions is an inexact science, at best. In fact, it's mostly guesswork.

Legend has it: If 13 people sit down to dinner together, one will die within the year. The Turks so disliked the number 13 that it was practically expunged from their vocabulary (Brewer, 1894). Many cities do not have a 13th Street or a 13th Avenue. Many buildings don't have a 13th floor. If you have 13 letters in your name, you will have the devil's luck (Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names). There are 13 witches in a coven.
The Devil's Dozen

Although no one can say for sure when and why human beings first associated the number 13 with misfortune, the superstition is assumed to be quite old, and there exist any number of theories — most of which deserve to be treated with a healthy skepticism, please note — purporting to trace its origins to antiquity and beyond.
It has been proposed, for example, that fears surrounding the number 13 are as ancient as the act of counting. Primitive man had only his 10 fingers and two feet to represent units, this explanation goes, so he could count no higher than 12. What lay beyond that — 13 — was an impenetrable mystery to our prehistoric forebears, hence an object of superstition.
Which has an edifying ring to it, but one is left wondering: did primitive man not have toes?

Life and death
Despite whatever terrors the numerical unknown held for their hunter-gatherer ancestors, ancient civilizations weren't unanimous in their dread of 13. The Chinese regarded the number as lucky, some commentators note, as did the Egyptians in the time of the pharaohs.
To the ancient Egyptians, we're told, life was a quest for spiritual ascension which unfolded in stages — twelve in this life and a thirteenth beyond, thought to be the eternal afterlife. The number 13 therefore symbolized death, not in terms of dust and decay but as a glorious and desirable transformation. Though Egyptian civilization perished, the symbolism conferred on the number 13 by its priesthood survived, we may speculate, only to be corrupted by subsequent cultures who came to associate 13 with a fear of death instead of a reverence for the afterlife.

Anathema
Still other sources speculate that the number 13 may have been purposely vilified by the founders of patriarchal religions in the early days of western civilization because it represented femininity. Thirteen had been revered in prehistoric goddess-worshiping cultures, we are told, because it corresponded to the number of lunar (menstrual) cycles in a year (13 x 28 = 364 days). The "Earth Mother of Laussel," for example — a 27,000-year-old carving found near the Lascaux caves in France often cited as an icon of matriarchal spirituality — depicts a female figure holding a crescent-shaped horn bearing 13 notches. As the solar calendar triumphed over the lunar with the rise of male-dominated civilization, it is surmised, so did the "perfect" number 12 over the "imperfect" number 13, thereafter considered anathema.
On the other hand, one of the earliest concrete taboos associated with the number 13 — a taboo still observed by some superstitious folks today, apparently — is said to have originated in the East with the Hindus, who believed, for reasons I haven't been able to ascertain, that it is always unlucky for 13 people to gather in one place — say, at dinner. Interestingly enough, precisely the same superstition has been attributed to the ancient Vikings (though I have also been told, for what it's worth, that this and the accompanying mythographical explanation of it are apocryphal). That story has been laid down as follows:

And Loki makes thirteen
Twelve gods were invited to a banquet at Valhalla. Loki, the Evil One, god of mischief, had been left off the guest list but crashed the party, bringing the total number of attendees to 13. True to character, Loki raised hell by inciting Hod, the blind god of winter, to attack Balder the Good, who was a favorite of the gods. Hod took a spear of mistletoe offered by Loki and obediently hurled it at Balder, killing him instantly. All Valhalla grieved. And although one might take the moral of this story to be "Beware of uninvited guests bearing mistletoe," the Norse themselves apparently concluded that 13 people at a dinner party is just plain bad luck.
As if to prove the point, the Bible tells us there were exactly 13 present at the Last Supper. One of the dinner guests — er, disciples — betrayed Jesus Christ, setting the stage for the Crucifixion.
Did I mention the Crucifixion took place on a Friday?


Bad Friday

Some say Friday's bad reputation goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden. It was on a Friday, supposedly, that Eve tempted Adam with the forbidden fruit. Adam bit, as we all learned in Sunday School, and they were both ejected from Paradise. Tradition also holds that the Great Flood began on a Friday; God tongue-tied the builders of the Tower of Babel on a Friday; the Temple of Solomon was destroyed on a Friday; and, of course, Friday was the day of the week on which Christ was crucified. It is therefore a day of penance for Christians.
In pagan Rome, Friday was execution day (later Hangman's Day in Britain), but in other pre-Christian cultures it was the sabbath, a day of worship, so those who indulged in secular or self-interested activities on that day could not expect to receive blessings from the gods — which may explain the lingering taboo on embarking on journeys or starting important projects on Fridays.
To complicate matters, these pagan associations were not lost on the early Church, which went to great lengths to suppress them. If Friday was a holy day for heathens, the Church fathers felt, it must not be so for Christians — thus it became known in the Middle Ages as the "Witches' Sabbath," and thereby hangs another tale.

The witch-goddess
The name "Friday" was derived from a Norse deity worshipped on the sixth day, known either as Frigg (goddess of marriage and fertility), or Freya (goddess of sex and fertility), or both, the two figures having become intertwined in the handing down of myths over time (the etymology of "Friday" has been given both ways). Frigg/Freya corresponded to Venus, the goddess of love of the Romans, who named the sixth day of the week in her honor "dies Veneris."
Friday was actually considered quite lucky by pre-Christian Teutonic peoples, we are told — especially as a day to get married — because of its traditional association with love and fertility. All that changed when Christianity came along. The goddess of the sixth day — most likely Freya in this context, given that the cat was her sacred animal — was recast in post-pagan folklore as a witch, and her day became associated with evil doings.
Various legends developed in that vein, but one is of particular interest: As the story goes, the witches of the north used to observe their sabbath by gathering in a cemetery in the dark of the moon. On one such occasion the Friday goddess, Freya herself, came down from her sanctuary in the mountaintops and appeared before the group, who numbered only 12 at the time, and gave them one of her cats, after which the witches' coven — and, by "tradition," every properly-formed coven since — comprised exactly 13.

The unanswered question
The astute reader will have observed that while we have thus far insinuated any number of intriguing connections between events, practices and beliefs attributed to ancient cultures and the superstitious fear of Fridays and the number 13, we have yet to happen upon an explanation of how, why, or when these separate strands of folklore converged — if that is indeed what happened — to mark Friday the 13th as the unluckiest day of all.
There's a very simple reason for that: nobody really knows, and few concrete explanations have been proposed.

'A day so infamous'
One theory, recently offered up as historical fact in the novel The Da Vinci Code, holds that the stigma came about not as the result of a convergence, but because of a catastrophe, a single historical event that happened nearly 700 years ago. That event was the decimation of the Knights Templar, the legendary order of "warrior monks" formed during the Christian Crusades to combat Islam. Renowned as a fighting force for 200 years, by the 1300s the order had grown so pervasive and powerful it was perceived as a political threat by kings and popes alike and brought down by a church-state conspiracy, as recounted by Katharine Kurtz in Tales of the Knights Templar (Warner Books, 1995):
On October 13, 1307, a day so infamous that Friday the 13th would become a synonym for ill fortune, officers of King Philip IV of France carried out mass arrests in a well-coordinated dawn raid that left several thousand Templars — knights, sergeants, priests, and serving brethren — in chains, charged with heresy, blasphemy, various obscenities, and homosexual practices. None of these charges was ever proven, even in France — and the Order was found innocent elsewhere — but in the seven years following the arrests, hundreds of Templars suffered excruciating tortures intended to force "confessions," and more than a hundred died under torture or were executed by burning at the stake.

There are problems with the "day so infamous" thesis, not the least of which is that it attributes enormous cultural significance to a relatively obscure historical event. Even more problematic for this or any other theory positing premodern origins for a superstitious dread of Friday the 13th is the fact that no one has been able to document the existence of such a superstition prior to the late 19th century. If folks in earlier times perceived Friday the 13th as a day of special misfortune, no evidence has been found to prove it. Some scholars are now convinced the stigma is a thoroughly modern phenomenon exacerbated by 20th-century media hype.

A mere accrual of bad omens?
Going back more than a hundred years, Friday the 13th doesn't even merit a mention in the 1898 edition of E. Cobham Brewer's voluminous Dictionary of Phrase and Fable, though one does find entries for "Friday, an Unlucky Day" and "Thirteen Unlucky." When the date of ill fate finally does make an appearance in later editions of the text, it is without extravagant claims as to the superstition's historicity or longevity. The very brevity of the entry is instructive: "Friday the Thirteenth: A particularly unlucky Friday. See Thirteen" — implying that the extra dollop of misfortune might be accounted for in terms of a simple accrual, as it were, of bad omens:
UNLUCKY FRIDAY + UNLUCKY 13 = UNLUCKIER FRIDAY
If that's the case, we are guilty of perpetuating a misnomer by labeling Friday the 13th "the unluckiest day of all," a designation perhaps better reserved for, say, a Friday the 13th on which one breaks a mirror, walks under a ladder, spills the salt, and spies a black cat crossing one's path — a day, if there ever was one, best spent in the safety of one's own home with doors locked, shutters closed, and fingers crossed.

Postscript: A novel theory
In 13: The Story of the World's Most Popular Superstition (Avalon, 2004), author Nathaniel Lachenmeyer argues that the commingling of "unlucky Friday" and "unlucky 13" took place in the pages of a specific literary work, a novel published in 1907 titled — what else? — Friday, the Thirteenth. The book, all but forgotten now, concerned dirty dealings in the stock market and sold quite well in its day. Both the titular phrase and the phobic premise behind it — namely that superstitious people regard Friday the 13th as a supremely unlucky day — were instantly adopted and popularized by the press.
It seems unlikely that the novelist, Thomas W. Lawson, literally invented that premise himself — he treats it within the story, in fact, as a notion that already existed in the public consciousness — but he most certainly lent it gravitas and set it on a path to becoming the most widespread superstition in modern times.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

It’s time once again for the annual swearing of the New Year’s resolution - that time honored tradition where we solemnly make all kinds of wonderful pledges to both ourselves & our loved ones. But all the good intentions and big plans mean naught because deep down in our pudgy little cholesterol laden hearts we know that we’ll never follow through on any them. Those extra 10, 20, (hell admit it) 50 pounds aren’t going anywhere any time soon and even the thought of giving up smoking has you fumbling in your pocket for a light like a drowning man grabbing for a life preserver.
Big business is well aware of all this. January is the prime month of the year for gym memberships while sales of athletic wear and home fitness equipment are higher than at Christmas. Health food stores tout the latest cure all and TV informational push the latest diet/patch/pill that makes the fat melt away and somehow magically makes you look 15 years in the process. Who knew that losing weight would make your gray hair, wrinkles & eye baggage go away?
Get real people. If you DID lose all that weight you’d look like a Shar-Pei with all that excess skin drooping down - although you could save on underwear because that floppy skin apron where your gut used to be is going’a hang down & hide your punanny/pecker from view. Which won’t be an issue because you KNOW that you are not gonna give up Big Macs & Snickers and the only time you’ll lace up your Nike’s will be to go buy goodies at the store.
Loose skin, jingly butt cheeks, drooping jowls, chicken wing upper arms. Wait I’ve got all those already! Damn it all, I’m gonna have to do it, make a resolution and count on y’all to keep me honest.
RESOLUTIONS:
1. Get Healthy
2.....
'Heck, one is enough for me',

Friday, June 05, 2009

45 LIFE LESSONS

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion,Today is special.
22. Over prepare, and then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone and everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give it time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now..
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42.. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Saturday, January 12, 2008

SATURDAY SUNSHINE

After lots of thunder and lighting plus some wind damage severe thunderstorms Thursday left us wonderful weather in its wake. Clean air, sunny skies and moderate temps in the 50s made me want to play hooky today so bad that I could taste it, but duty calls so off to the slave shop I went.

The drive to work this afternoon was picturesque; too bad I had to make a straight line to the mill instead of meandering up and down the back roads. I wish I had thought to bring my camera and had the time to snap some of the sights on the way. You know which ones; those special moments that capture your eye and intrigue your mind. All too often they pass in a blink and get forgotten in the press of everyday life.

I spent several minutes trailing a vintage horse and buggy driven by an older couple, their white hair gleaming in the sunshine as they leaned their heads together. I swear their tilted bodies and touching foreheads formed a perfect heart-shape just like something on the front of a Hallmark card. You could see the happy pair’s smiles flashing from a mile away as their scarves waved gaily in the breeze. Young love be damned, it looked like these oldsters were doing just fine in their golden years. We should all be so lucky.

A bit farther down the road a youngster on a shiny new ATV (obviously gotten for Christmas) was zigzagging up and down the ditch banks; cutting donuts and slinging dirt all over a much used and abused older trail bike sitting on the side of the road with a “FOR SALE’ sigh on the handle bars. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the poor trail bike. Old, worn out, unloved and unwanted, discarded and replaced as soon as a newer younger shinier model becomes available. I think there are a lot of us who know the feeling, even if we won’t admit it to anyone but ourselves.

I don’t own a full length mirror. I live and work in jeans and casual shirts in blue-collar industry, so dressing up is a rare occasion. So the other night when I went to get slicked up for a co-worker’s retirement party it came as something of a shock when all my dressier clothes were tighter than I remembered. OK ........ I’m 52 and some of this stuff has been in the closet for years, I can deal with the thicker waist, broader hips and sagging girls. My face is aging well (I guess) and makeup does wonders when I take the time to apply it. After all, age hits us all differently, I have a friend whose body is the same size 4 as when she was young but her face shows her years of chronic sun worship. We all have our flaws; so I take a deep breath, throw on a respectable outfit whose buttons don’t pop over my bulging bosom, paint my face, twirl around and model for my son and the 2 cats who give their approval, and off I go.

It wasn’t so long ago that I had to be careful of appearance and body language at dinners and meetings; my co-workers’ wives considered me a threat just because I was decent looking and had a boobilicious rack. But the other night as I was introduced to the other ladies their eyes glanced at me, slid from my artfully streaked gray hair and down my ample curves. And then dismissed me. I mean they totally looked away and never acknowledged my existence again. Not in words, looks, acts, nothing. They saw an older overly-plump over-the-hill female who wasn’t worth the time of day because she could never interest their men. It seems that if I’m not a threat I’m not worth the time of day. WTF!

These younger (I’m talking 30-something) women spent the night huddled next to their guys shooting glares at each other while I and the few other “matrons” laughed and giggled and wondered what was wrong with the pseudo fem-fatales at the other tables. And it was unanimous; all we “middle-aged ladies” agreed that they didn’t consider us worth anything because we weren’t a threat.

When did women become each other’s worse enemies? And what the hell makes them think that anyone else would want the testosterone-sodden pot-bellied male who shares their bed? What happened to female comradely? Hell, I always have more fun with my girlfriends than with a date; I don’t have to impress the girls; I can eat with my fingers, get slightly tipsy on too much wine, do the funky chichken if I want, and I don’t have to hold my breath so my gut doesn’t pooch out as much when I’m with my buddies.

I just don’t get it. We dismiss each other based on age, weight, shape and if we think someone looks better than us. I thought it was bad enough when men did it to us, but now we’re doing it to ourselves. Girls, this shit has GOT TO STOP!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

TAGGED - BOOK MEME

Ell over at the Pomegranate Tiger has tagged me with a book meme.
Instructions:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fourth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences along with these instructions.
Don’t search around and look for the “coolest” book you can find. Do what’s actually next to you.
5. State the book title and author.

Being a person who follows directions well (OK, stop laughing y'all!)I spin my 'puter chair around and grab the first book off the top of the stack in the floor (the bookshelves are overflowing and I have books stacked all over the house. No flat surface is left empty, dusty tomes litter every spare inch of surface and I've already read most of them). I open the cover, flip to page #123 and count down four sentences. Here's what I find:


She started to take off her uniform shirt, then stopped.
"What?"
"I'm too fat."
"You're goddamn right." She always said she was fat. One time I'd told her that she should shut up about it, that large black women wore their fat like mink coats.


From "Drinking Coffee Elsewhere" by Z. Z. Packer, a wonderful collection of short stories that tease, tempt and tantalise your emotions. All the stories are written from a growing up Black prospective but one also meets an array of other characters; from African American church ladies, white intellectuals, to inner-city dwellers, but the morals and feelings of these literary gems apply to us all. Well written, these tales don't have the feel of the usual short story but instead are well fleshed and thoroughly enjoyable.

This is my first book by Z. Z. Packer and I'm making it a point to find some more of her works. She's been published in lots of magazines (starting when she was just 19). Her work has appeared in Seventeen, Harper's, The Best American Short Stories (2000), Ploughshares and has been anthologized in 25 and Under: Fiction.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

MOVE YOUR ASS

As I’ve complained bragged talked about before, I’ve been on a self improvement kick (i.e. quit smoking, move my ample derriere and get some exercise, maybe even try to eat a little healthier). Sweet Thang is still recovering from his motorcycle mishap; after 3 months being bed-ridden and wheelchair-bound, you’d think he would be chomping at the bit to get back in shape. So the obvious idea would be that we do things together, providing each other with encouragement etc etc . Wrong.

Although Sweet Thang is hobbling around on a cane, he can’t hold out for very long. I’ve been trying to get him to go walking with me but he moans that it’s too hot. Don’t tell his Mom, but the only outing that he’s been interested in is going to the bar and shooting pool while drinking beer with his hard ankle buddies. As a matter of fact, it's the first place he drove when he managed to escape from Mom's watchful eye. So I suggested “mall walking” and he actually got insulted; informing me that’s what “old women do”. Hell, the oldest woman I know can run circles around him; if he doesn’t get his fat ass in gear he’ll never be able to go back to work and I’ll be damned if I’ll feel sorry for him OR support him.

I took him to Sears just to get him out of the house and he lasted about 30 minutes; heck I thought every man alive could spend all day in Sears! The same thing happened at Hartselle’s indoor flea market; 30 minutes and we had to go. I managed to get him to go to the movies and he did stay for the whole film (Live Free or Die Hard; excellent flick, lots of bang for your buck). However he shifted and moaned and groaned the whole time and when it came time to leave it took him 10 minutes just to get out of his seat. The man's gotta start moving or he's going to develop rust!

I know it’s gonna be a long, hard recovery but Sweet Thang has got to get out from in front of the TV and put forth some effort. It’s been 4 months; the bones have healed but his muscles have gone to shit. Yeah, I know it hurts but nothing’s going to make it better other than just grit your teeth and “Get ‘Er Done”. His Aunt has offered the use of her swimming pool for the aqua therapy that his Dr. recommended but I can’t get him to even try. Maybe if I get a cattle prod and keep zapping him he’ll get in gear………..

In other news, I’ve got a new ‘do, y’all. I’ve been foiled! As Ashley worked on giving me a metal head, I glanced in the mirror and scared myself! The image reflected back at me looked like something from SETI looking for radio signals. You know, evidence of life on other planets. ET, phone home!!

So now I have lovely tri-tone tresses, my ever increasing gray hairs are camouflaged, and the guys at work are actually giving me compliments. I must look OK, usually I have to shave my head before they notice so compliments are a big deal. Plus they keep asking me how much weight I’ve lost. My clothes fit differently, I can actually shimmy into some jeans that I haven’t worn in several years and zip them while standing up, but the dad gummed #%*^%^# scales haven’t budged.

I guess I’m rearranging my body even if I haven’t dropped any pounds. I did get my body fat content and measurements taken at Curves the other day; every thing was about what I imagined, not good but improving. But I was shocked at my bust measurement, I'm 48 inches around the boobs! Now I know why I weigh so much, I've got 50 pounds of titties weighing me down. I knew I wear several sizes bigger in tops than bottoms but dang y'all. Now I feel lop-sidded.

Sorry I’ve been MIA, I promise to do better. I just got high speed at home so it should be easier for me to post from there. Heck; new hair, new modem, tighter ass ………. Who knows what’ll happen next!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

THE HARDER I TRY.......

It came out of the dark and hit me like a ten pound hammer. That damn craving, the one I thought was gone for good. My mouth filled with slobber and I strangled the steering wheel in a white-knuckled death grip. I gulped air, practicing those deep breathing exercises that’s supposed to help and all the while hungered for a smoke with every atom of my being.

Thank whatever deity that was looking after me, at 3:30 AM on rural highway 33 as it wound down Courtland mountain with moonlight sifting through the woods and coyotes' eyes gleaming in the dark, there was nowhere to buy a pack and no one to bum off of; I was safe from temptation. After checking the mirror to make sure I wasn’t foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog I drove the rest of the way into work and hit the gym, hoping to sweat out this devilish hankering for a cancer stick.

I’ve been soooooooo good for so long. Why now, after weeks of being smoke free, do I crave the damn things? When will I be free from this weakness? I haven’t even attempted a diet, just tried to stay smoke-free and away from the lure of other smokers.

I come from the age when smoking was considered "grown up" and "romantic". You know, back in the stone ages before Uncle Sam let us all know that tobacco was a killer. Watch any old movie, the hero always lights his lady love's cig. Then you have the gratuitous dual "smoking in the bed after sex" scene. Hell, back then smoking was cool and sexy and almost everyone lit up. Now old folks like me are fighting the habit, and some of us are fighting a losing battle.

Almost my entire family smoked back then, most of them still do. The habit contributed greatly to my Mom's death; so I know it's bad for me, that it stinks and is a nasty habit. But damn it's hard to give up!

Work opened a really nice gym on the plant site and I’ve been going in early on days and staying over after midnights in the hope of gaining a little muscle and thinking perhaps my gasping for breath on the cardio portion would help me resist the siren call of tobacco. I usually do 10 minutes of stretches, 20 minutes of cardio, 20 minutes of weight training, 20 more minutes of cardio and then a final 10 minutes of stretches. I've even conquered the incline sit-up bench! Not too shabby for an over-the-hill old broad who sits on her arse 12 hours a day for a living.

The plan was to get off of tobacco, get in semi-shape and then work on the food portion of my “get healthier.” plan. When you pass the age of 50 you have to work a lot harder on getting in shape. Plus I’m a hedonist so I’ve been putting off the diet part; I didn’t think I could give up good food and smoking at the same time.

Oh well, I guess it's back to one day at a time. I've resisted Demon Tobacco, now if I can just kick my honey bun habit.......