My life has become a comedy of errors; “Murphy’s Law” has attacked me with a vengeance. I have big plans to drive out and visit Jackie Sue in Texas during Labor Day, I already have 2 weeks vacation scheduled and I am going if I can still walk but it seems that fate is trying to throw me a curve ball. Read on to see what I mean.
As some of you already know, a tree (well, half a big tree) fell onto the roof of my house. Not good but no one was hurt, the damage was minimal, the leaks were all in the overhang and I’m insured. Then …….
Wednesday, while watching the tree people remove several large specimens from beside the deck, my tummy started rolling and growling and just feeling not so good in general. By 11 AM I was having chest pains and by 3 PM I was in the emergency room convinced that I was having a heart attack.
After being poked and prodded, forced to drink gallons of barium, injected with radioactive dye and zipped numerous times through a CT scanner they decided to admit me to the hospital and try to find out what was wrong. Days of stress tests, entire pints of blood being drawn every 4 hours, more radioactive dye injected and no heart problems anywhere. Dr. Dick (I swear that was his real name!) kept dropping by asking questions, dreaming up more tests and promising me that I was going to be OK. He was kinda cute, real flirty and if I had felt better I would have enjoyed his company but damn it; I wanted to go home.
Skip to Saturday, still in the hospital, both arms black and blue (but my-oh-my the morphine was nice!) and I find out that my gallbladder has one itsy bitty tiny gallstone that was causing all the trouble. So they send me home with some antacid pills and hopeful comments about how I may never have any problems out of that pesky gallbladder again, surgery wouldn’t be necessary at this time. But ……. if I do it won’t take but a minute to suck that nasty little bugger right out of my belly button. Promises, Promises.
So, I’m felling better, the roofers are supposed to be here next week and I decide to mow the yard. Just a few passes around the back yard the dad blasted mower belt breaks. Damn it I can’t seem to get a break. Wonder what’s gonna happen next? I quit smoking and my body starts falling apart. I make plans and things keep trying to get in the way.
Now tell me, am I losing my mind or ……. Do y’all see a trend here?