Thursday, December 10, 2009

CHRISTMAS SURVEY

Stolen from Jackie Sue: The Christmas Survey

1. Have you started your Christmas shopping? All except stocking stuffers. What do you get a 10 year old boy who only hunts & fishes?
2. Tell me about one of your special traditions. Both the son & grandson get tack Christmas boxer shorts in their stockings

3. When do you put up your tree? haven't had a tree in years, too much trouble to take it down. Last time I put one up it stays till July 4th. However I do have Christmas Weebles on the bookshelves
4. Are you a Black Friday shopper?
Hell No
5. Do you travel at Christmas or stay home? I always have to work
6. What is your funniest Christmas memory? The year I got a chemistry set & made a stink bomb
7. What is your favourite Christmas movie of all time? Animal House's Christmas Vacation.
8. Do you do your own Christmas baking and what's your favourite treat?I never have much time but I do love all the "failed" stuff we get at work. If the cake falls or the cookies scorch all the wives send the results to the plant. Put it on the table & it'll get ate, no matter how sad it looks
9. Fake or real tree? I've had both. Love the real tree but not the mess
10. What day does the actual panic set in to get it all done? Panic?...you'd have to give a shit to panic..and I don't give a shit. Ditto for me Jackie
11. Are you still wrapping presents on Christmas Eve? I use bags if at all possible!
12. What is your favourite family fun time at Christmas? Watching the present unwrapping & the smiles if I get it right
13. What Christmas craft do you like the best? I don't craft.
14. Christmas music, yes or no? If yes, what is your favourite song? Only in small doses.
5 When do you plan on finishing your shopping. I'm done...

Saturday, October 31, 2009

HALLOWEEN RANT (I DON'T NEED NO STINKING COSTUME!)

Who needs a store-bought Halloween costume? I look in the mirror at all the ravages that Father Time has done to this tired old body and I’m about as scary as I can get without putting on a mask or wig.

What were once freckles are now fast spreading age spots, and beauty marks have turned into moles that seem to pop up in weird places and make me worry about skin cancer, something that I never thought about a few years ago.

I have lumps and bumps and rolls where once there was an hourglass figure. My skin now drinks in lotion like a camel at an oasis, no longer the texture of a baby’s bottom; rough where it should be smooth and sagging like the shoulders of the exhausted elderly woman I’m fast becoming.

The boobs are heading South of the border and my feet are getting bigger; but not near as fast as my ass is spreading out. The gray is fast taking over my once reddish brown curls and my hairdresser is losing the battle to camouflage the iron colored strands with streaks and highlights.

So I’m not going to dress up tonight. Instead I’m gonna so without makeup, let my hair go wild and stop trying to suck in my gut. I’m wearing sweats, a t-shirt and no bra. I’m letting it all hang out (picture the grandma on the Klumps running in the dream sequence with boobs bouncing all over the place!) and scare all the tick or treaters who show up at the door with my natural hideous self.

So come and get some candy kids. Don’t be afraid, this too will happen to you in a hundred years or so. Happy Halloween y’all.

Monday, October 19, 2009

KINKY SEX LIFE

I found these and other strange but true facts at The Oyster's Garter. Who knew that the animal kingdom was so erotic/kinky? This shit is too weird to be made up but still strangely fascinating.

Samantha Henig just reported on the Museum of Sex exhibit on the Sex Lives of Animals. I like gay giraffes and well-endowed lady hyenas as much as the next person (OK, probably more), but the list struck me as shockingly mammal-biased.
Vertebrates—and that includes non-fuzzy critters like fish—comprise a mere 5 percent of the world's species. The spineless have kinky sex, too! Here's a list of a few of my personal favorites:
- As I wrote on the original Oyster's Garter blog, barnacles have the most impressive penises in the sea. A barnacle’s penis can be 8 times longer than the barnacle’s entire body. Barnacles are well-endowed because they’re cemented in place—in order to advance the species, they need to, um, “visit” their neighbors. (That’s also why barnacles are simultaneous hermaphrodites that both give and receive the glorious gift of crustacean life. Separate sexes wouldn’t work, since the only neighbor in reach could be the same sex.)
- Marine flatworms, also simultaneous hermaphrodites, fence with razor-sharp penises. Since they lack a female orifice, sex occurs when the loser gets stabbed right through their body wall. The technical term? Hypodermic impregnation. Some spiders do it too. Ow.
- From horrifying spiked beetle penises to earwig penises that occasionally snap right off in the midst of sex, insects have all kinds of bizarre sexual practices. But you don't have to take my word for it—check out Season 1 of Isabella Rossellini's Green Porno series, where she dramatizes doin' it as all kinds of bug.


-And from a different article in the same blog "that is far worse than the Wired list's No. 8, having your sluggy sweetie gnaw off your penis. (Ok, maybe not.)" Wow, I'm becoming a fountain of usless but interesting trivia. Go check out The Garter.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

35 QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

From Jackie Sue at Yellowdog Granny.
The official meme rules are:
Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on.Answers may be one word only. Once you have filled it out be sure to pass it on to 6 of your favorite bloggers. Alert them that they have been awarded! Have fun!And this is the award you'll get if you get tagged to answer questions and pass the award and duties that go with it on to six of your blog buddies:

1. Where is your cell phone? on the charger
2. Your hair? is cut in a new 'do which I hate. Oh well, it'll grow
3. Your mother? was my best friend and I miss her every day
4. Your father? Daddy was the king of the house, with 6 women to look after him. In other words, he was spoiled rotten
5. Your favorite food? anything that doesn't include innards
6. Your dream last night? I never dream, or at least I don't remember dreaming
7. Your favorite drink? I'm Southern, so iced tea of course.Diew Dew runs a close second
8. Your dream/goal? I'm a simple woman, my goal is just to be happy
9. What room are you in? my living room which is packed wall to wall with books
10. Your hobby? reading, see #9
11. Your fear? Being helpless, a family history of Alzheimer's makes it worse as I get older.
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Alive.
13. Where were you last night? home
14. Something that you aren’t? Tactful (Jackie Sue & I have this in common)
15. Muffins? rather have cupcakes, love that sinful icing
16. Wish list item? does good health and my 25 year old body count?
17. Where did you grow up? Moulton, AL
18. Last thing you did? Washed dishes
19. What are you wearing? PJ pants & white T shirt
20. Your TV? on
21. Your pets? 2 indoor kitties & which ever stray shows up at the door
22. Friends? lots, and I love all of em
23. Your life? work, sleep and waiting for Prince Charming who I think dropped dead from a heart attack on the way over
24. Your mood? usually upbeat, if I got my nap out that is
25. Missing someone? Mom, Dad & my sanity
26. Vehicle? Silver 2004 OZ Rally Racer
27. Something you’re not wearing? a bra and shoes.
28. Your favorite store? any and all of my local stores.
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When was the last time you laughed? Talking to one of my girlfriends
31. Last time you cried? reading the book I finished at 3 AM this morning
33. One place that I go to over and over? work & WallMart
34. One person who emails me regularly? Phyllis Wallace
35. Favorite place to eat? Moulton Steak House

And now for the award and duty bestowing:
I don't have 6 favorite bloggers. So sign yourselves up if you're interested

Saturday, October 03, 2009

BRA THAT TURNS INTO A GAS MASK

Who said that there's nothing new under the sun? Folks, I give you a bra that morphs into 2, that's right, 2 lifesaving gas masks. No, it's not a joke. And no, it wasn't invented by a man. Since each breathable bra converts into 2 rebreathers, I guess they plan on we females of the species to share with one of our male coworkers. See guys, we're good for something besides getting coffee.

Now if they could just make the damned underwires comfortable.......

Introducing the bra that is meant to be taken off by Elinor Mills
The gas mask bra is one of the winners at the 19th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony.(Credit: Elena Bodnar)

This week the Annals of Improbable Research hosted its 19th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. As CNET News' Elinor Mills wrote, this year was no less ignoble than the previous 18, with such delightful discoveries as applications for panda poo and observations from a lifetime of knuckle cracking.

Elena Bodnar, who lives in Chicago, got her start as a scientist in Ukraine, when she witnessed the devastating effects of the Chernobyl nuclear plant disaster in 1986. She noticed, among other things, that women were wearing bras that may have been lacy but were certainly not life-saving.

Read the article to find out more.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

ARMADILLO EGGS

I was looking at stuffed Jalapeno recipes hunting for something different and ran up on this yummy sounding dish. I'm posting it here so I don't forget to try it if I ever get a day off. Found in the comment section of My Wooden Spoon blog.


I keep my peppers whole and make a slit down one side. I pop it open like a coin purse and use a small grapefruit spoon to clean out the seeds. Fill with cream cheese and then enclose the entire pepper with pork sausage about a 1/4 in. thick. I then coat it in Pork Shake & Bake and bake at 350 for 30 to 35 minutes. We call them Armadillo Eggs and I can never seem to make enough when I take them to a cookout.

ELOPEMENT & TRADING HORSES; A BLAST FROM THE PAST

The news wasn’t always bad like it seems to be now now. I'm sorry to say that newspapers just don’t write this kinda story any more. I found this heartwarming romance article in Old Lawrence Reminisces, A journal of Lawrence County, Alabama history and genealogy; September 1993 Volume 7, Number 3 issue. All language and spellings are as written in the article. The Moulton Advertiser is Alabama's oldest existing newspaper. Moulton, I'm proud to say, is my home town.

The Moulton Advertiser Thursday Aug. 30, 1888


Mrs. Julia A Smith was married to Mr. Samuel McCarver in the Evett’s Hotel at this place, on Tuesday of last week Both live near Mt. Home, and both have large families to begin life again with. We learn that how it came to happen was I this wise, which was purely accidental: The groom went over to buy a horse of the bride, and while trading around something was said about matrimony. This one word fired both hearts with an undying love. In an instant, in the twinkling of an eye, two souls had but a single thought and that thought was to have the silken cord tied. In a few moments they were speeding away to Moulton on Wheels, and early in the afternoon Judge Kumpe pronounced them one flesh. “Whom God hath joined together let not man put under.” We forward our congratulations by mail, but shall continue to address the Moulton Advertiser to “Mrs. Julia A. Smith” until further instructions


Lawrence County, Alabama Archives Website

Sunday, September 20, 2009

SILVER THREADS & RICHARD LAYMON

I love this quote. Makes me look at my graying hair in a totally different way.

Then he gave his long hair a few flings with his fingers. "You see all this-here silver?"

Both his mustache and his hair were mostly black, but streaked with plenty of shiny strands.

"Know what it is, Willy?"

"Gray hair, is it?"

"Silver, Precious silver. It's the pay you get for staying alive. The longer you go without getting perforated by various rapscallions and Indians - or scalped - the more you collect. All you gotta do is take a gander at a man's head and you can get yourself a fair estimate of his worth. You see much silver up there, you know he ain't easy to kill."

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

OPEN LETTER TO OUR GOVERMENT

This is an email (long but worth the read) that a cousin sent to me, the lady made some valid points.......

The following letter, read on Glenn Beck's show, is rapidly circulating around the country. Americans everywhere identify with this 53-year-old woman. She has given us a voice. Once you read this, you will want to forward it to all of your friends...

GLENN BECK: I got a letter from a woman in Arizona .. She writes an open letter to our nation's leadership:

"I'm a home grown American citizen, 53, registered Democrat all my life. Before the last presidential election I registered as a Republican because I no longer felt the Democratic Party represents my views or works to pursue issues important to me. Now I no longer feel the Republican Party represents my views or works to pursue issues important to me. The fact is I no longer feel any political party or representative in Washington represents my views or works to pursue the issues important to me. There must be someone. Please tell me who you are. Please stand up and tell me that you are there and that you're willing to fight for our Constitution as it was written. Please stand up now. You might ask yourself what my views and issues are that I would horribly feel so disenfranchised by both major political parties. What kind of nut job am I? Will you please tell me?Well, these are briefly my views and issues for which I seek representation:

One, illegal immigration. I want you to stop coddling illegal immigrants and secure our borders. Close the underground tunnels. Stop the violence and the trafficking in drugs and people. No amnesty, not again. Been there, done that, no resolution. P.S., I'm not a racist. This isn't to be confused with legal immigration.

Two, the STIMULUS bill, I want it repealed and I want no further funding supplied to it. We told you no, but you did it anyway. I want the remaining unfunded 95% repealed. Freeze, repeal.

Three: Czars, I want the circumvention of our checks and balances stopped immediately. Fire the czars. No more czars. Government officials answer to the process, not to the president. Stop trampling on our Constitution and honor it.

Four, cap and trade. The debate on global warming is not over. There is more to say.

Five, universal health care. I will not be rushed into another expensive decision. Don't you dare try to pass this in the middle of the night and then go on break. Slow down!

Six, growing government control. I want states rights and sovereignty fully restored. I want less government in my life, not more. Shrink it down. Mind your own business. You have enough to take care of with your real obligations. Why don't you start there.

Seven, ACORN. I do not want ACORN and its affiliates in charge of our 2010 census. I want them investigated. I also do not want mandatory escrow fees contributed to them every time on every real estate deal that closes. Stop the funding to ACORN and its affiliates pending impartial audits and investigations. I do not trust them with taking the census over with our taxpayer money. I don't trust them with our taxpayer money. Face up to the allegations against them and get it resolved before taxpayers get any more involved with them. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, hello. Stop protecting your political buddies. You work for us, the people. Investigate.

Eight, redistribution of wealth. No, no, no. I work for my money. It is mine. I have always worked for people with more money than I have because they gave me jobs. That is the only redistribution of wealth that I will support. I never got a job from a poor person. Why do you want me to hate my employers? Why -- what do you have against shareholders making a profit?

Nine, charitable contributions.. Although I never got a job from a poor person, I have helped many in need. Charity belongs in our local communities, where we know our needs best and can use our local talent and our local resources. Butt out, please. We want to do it ourselves.

Ten, corporate bailouts. Knock it off. Sink or swim like the rest of us. If there are hard times ahead, we'll be better off just getting into it and letting the strong survive. Quick and painful. Have you ever ripped off a Band-Aid? We will pull together. Great things happen in America under great hardship. Give us the chance to innovate. We cannot disappoint you more than you have disappointed us.

Eleven, transparency and accountability. How about it? No, really, how about it? Let's have it. Let's say we give the buzzwords a rest and have some straight honest talk. Please try -- please stop manipulating and trying to appease me with clever wording. I am not the idiot you obviously take me for. Stop sneaking around and meeting in back rooms making deals with your friends. It will only be a prelude to your criminal investigation. Stop hiding things from me..

Twelve, unprecedented quick spending. Stop it now.Take a breath. Listen to the people. Let's just slow down and get some input from some non-politicians on the subject. Stop making everything an emergency. Stop speed reading our bills into law. I am not an activist. I am not a community organizer. Nor am I a terrorist, a militant or a violent person. I am a parent and a grandparent. I work. I'm busy. I'm busy. I am busy, and I am tired. I thought we elected competent people to take care of the business of government so that we could work, raise our families, pay our bills, have a little recreation, complain about taxes, endure our hardships, pursue our personal goals, cut our lawn, wash our cars on the weekends and be responsible contributing members of society and teach our children to be the same all while living in the home of the free and land of the brave.

I entrusted you with upholding the Constitution. I believed in the checks and balances to keep from getting far off course. What happened? You are very far off course. Do you really think I find humor in the hiring of a speed reader to unintelligently ramble all through a bill that you signed into law without knowing what it contained? I do not. It is a mockery of the responsibility I have entrusted to you. It is a slap in the face. I am not laughing at your arrogance. Why is it that I feel as if you would not trust me to make a single decision about my own life and how I would live it but you should expect that I should trust you with the debt that you have laid on all of us and our children. We did not want the TARP bill.. We said no. We would repeal it if we could. I am sure that we still cannot. There is such urgency and recklessness in all of the recent spending.

From my perspective, it seems that all of you have gone insane. I also know that I am far from alone in these feelings. Do you honestly feel that your current pursuits have merit to patriotic Americans? We want it to stop. We want to put the brakes on everything that is being rushed by us and forced upon us. We want our voice back. You have forced us to put our lives on hold to straighten out the mess that you are making. We will have to give up our vacations, our time spent with our children, any relaxation time we may have had and money we cannot afford to spend on you to bring our concerns to Washington . Our president often knows all the right buzzword is unsustainable. Well, no kidding. How many tens of thousands of dollars did the focus group cost to come up with that word? We don't want your overpriced words Stop treating us like we're morons.

We want all of you to stop focusing on your reelection and do the job we want done, not the job you want done or the job your party wants done. You work for us and at this rate I guarantee you not for long because we are coming. We will be heard and we will be represented. You think we're so busy with our lives that we will never come for you? We are the formerly silent majority, all of us who quietly work , pay taxes, obey the law, vote, save money, keep our noses to the grindstone and we are now looking up at you. You have awakened us, the patriotic freedom spirit so strong and so powerful that it had been sleeping too long. You have pushed us too far. Our numbers are great. They may surprise you. For every one of us who will be there, there will be hundreds more that could not come. Unlike you, we have their trust. We will represent them honestly, rest assured. They will be at the polls on voting day to usher you out of office. We have cancelled vacations. We will use our last few dollars saved. We will find the representation among us and a grassroots campaign will flourish. We didn't ask for this fight. But the gloves are coming off. We do not come in violence, but we are angry. You will represent us or you will be replaced with someone who will. There are candidates among us when he will rise like a Phoenix from the ashes that you have made of our constitution.

Democrat, Republican, independent, libertarian. Understand this. We don't care. Political parties are meaningless to us Patriotic Americans are willing to do right by us and our Constitution and that is all that matters to us now. We are going to fire all of you who abuse power and seek more. It is not your power. It is ours and we want it back. We entrusted you with it and you abused it. You are dishonorable. You are dishonest. As Americans we are ashamed of you. You have brought shame to us. If you are not representing the wants and needs of your constituency loudly and consistently, in spite of the objections of your party, you will be fired. Did you hear? We no longer care about your political parties. You need to be loyal to us, not to them. Because we will get you fired and they will not save you. If you do or can represent me, my issues, my views, please stand up. Make your identity known. You need to make some noise about it. Speak up. I need to know who you are. If you do not speak up, you will be herded out with the rest of the sheep and we will replace the whole damn congress if need be one by one. We are coming. Are we coming for you? Who do you represent? What do you represent? Listen. Because we are coming. We the people are coming."

Friday, August 28, 2009

FRIDAY


It's vacation time for all us poor tired souls.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

SWEET TEA

Do you take your tea sweet or not? Cold or hot? Sweet tea is a Southern staple, our Mamas put it in our bottles when we're wee babes and the addiction starts there. Go up north and the yankees swear that you're ruining a good thing. Seems that everyone everywhere has an opinion; but we Southerners will fight to the death over how to properly prepare and serve tea.

I just had to share this article, AMERICANS AT THE TABLE: REFLECTIONS ON FOOD AND CULTURE (it's kinda long but it tickled both my funny bone and my interest). I ran across this culinary tale in E Journal, USA:U.S. Society & Values, put out by the U.S. Dept. of State/Bureau of International Information Programs.

Damn, that's quite a mouthful!

You should go and read the whole paper, it's got tons of recipes and history about how different foods became staples in the USA.


INCLUDE ME OUT:
A REFLECTION ON “ICE TEA"
by FRED CHAPPELL

The author, though a native of the American South,disdains the region’s signature liquid refreshment, iced tea. He sees perversity behind the popularity of the highly sweetened drink, which he calls an “insipid banality,” but that doesn’t stop him from offering the reader guidance on how to prepare it.

"There are people who eat cold pasta salad. They enjoy despoiling their greenery with gummy, tasteless squiggles of tough, damp bread dough that are usually made palatable only when heavily disguised with hot tomato sauce and a stiff mask of Parmesan cheese. This salad does have the virtue of economy. Wednesday leftovers can be marketed to Thursday customers of perverse taste.



It is probably perversity also that accounts for the prevalence of ice tea in our American south. It was Edgar Allan Poe who first diagnosed this immitigable contrariness of human nature in his short story, The Imp of the Perverse, and he undoubtedly saw it as a normal trait of Dixie character. But please include me out. I am one southerner who detests that dirty water the color of oak-leaf tannin and its insipid banality. When I am offered ice tea by one of our charming southern hostesses, I know I’m in for a long afternoon of hearing about Cousin Mary Alice’s new babe and its genius antics in the playpen.



Hot tea makes sense. It can relax as well as stimulate and in fact may be sipped as a soporific. It can offer a bouquet pungent or delicate and causes us to understand why the Chinese designated certain strains of flowers as “tea roses.” It can be a topic of conversation, too, as southerners revive the traditional English debate as to whether the boiling water should be brought to the pot or the pot fetched to the water. Such palaver reassures us that all traces of civilization have not disappeared under the onslaughts of video games and e-mail.


But if you ice the stuff down it cannot matter in the least whether the water or the pot has journeyed. Any trace of the tea’s bouquet is slaughtered and only additives can give this tarnished liquid any aroma at all. There is, of course, plenty of discussion about these added condiments. Even the mildest of southern ladies may bristle and lapse into demotic speech when they consider that a glass of ice tea
has been improperly prepared.


Notice that we say, “ice tea.” Anyone who pronounces the successive dentals of “iced tea” is regarded as pretentious. And if you say “Coca-Cola” you will be seen as putting on airs, just as obviously as if you employed “you” as a collective pronoun. Down here we say “you-all,” “CoCola,” and “ice tea” and collect monetary fines from strangers who misspeak. Ignorance before the law is no excuse.

.
In recent years some enterprising women have seen the futility of the pot/water controversy and have begun making “sun tea,” a beverage that is never acquainted with either stove or teapot. They simply fill a gallon jug with water, drop in a flock of tea bags, and set the collocation out on the back porch to brew in the broiling August sunshine. If this method does not make the kitchen more cheerful, it does at least lessen the hypocritical chatter about proper procedure. Ice cannot harm sun tea; it is created beyond the reach of harm or help.


Now as to the recipe for ice tea: Lemons are essential and should be of the big thick-skinned variety, cut into sixths. They are never – repeat: never – squeezed but only plumped into the pitcher, four or five slices. Extra slices are offered on a cut-glass plate six inches in diameter. Mint may be added, but it is always submerged in the pitcher and never put into a glass where it would glue to the interior side like a Harley-Davidson decal.


And sweetening is the soul of this potation. The sugar bowl passes from hand to hand at a pace so dizzying it is like watching the rotating label on an old 78-rpm record. Southerners demand sweetness. The truly thoughtful hostess shall have already sweetened the tea for her guests with a simple sugar syrup that excludes the possibility of unpleasant graininess from bowl sugar. Sugar syrup for ice tea is concocted by adding one pound of Dixie Crystal sugar to a tablespoon of water. In the south sweetened ice tea is taken for granted, like the idea that stock car racing is our national pastime and that the Southern Baptist church is a legitimate arm of the Republican Party.

If you order ice tea in a restaurant it will arrive pre-sweetened. If you want it unsweetened you must ask for it. Actually, you must demand it with pistol drawn and cocked. And you will have to repeat your demand several times, because tea unsweetened is as abstruse a proposition to most servers as a theorem of Boolean algebra. Even then you can’t be sure. My wife Susan once ordered unsweetened, but it arrived as sweet as honey. The waitress pleaded for understanding. “We couldn’t figure out how to get the sugar out,” she said.


Why southerners are so sugar-fixated may be a mystery, but it is an indisputable fact. We are a breed who makes marmalades of zucchini, tomatoes, onions, and even watermelon rinds. Our famous pecan pie (“puhKAWN pah”) is a stiff but sticky paste of boiled Karo corn syrup studded with nuts. Since this is not sweet enough, it will likely be served with a gob of bourbon whipped cream dusted with cocoa powder and decorated with vegetable-peeler curls of milk chocolate.

“Do you want ice tea with that?”

“Oh yes. Sweetened, please.”

Well, I’ll confess that, though born in North Carolina, I make a poor example of a southerner. I don’t even capitalize the name of the region. I’m a Democrat, a non-Baptist, and don’t care what kind of car I drive. To me, adding broiled marshmallows to yams is like putting raspberry jam on porterhouse. I once spotted a recipe in the magazine Southern Living for CoCola cake and had to fight down a surge of nausea. I flee as if pursued from fatback, spoon bread, barbecue, grits, and – ice tea.

Susan tells me I need sweetening.

Fred Chappell is a professor of English at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, and is North Carolina’s Poet Laureate. He has written numerous books of poetry and fiction, including First and Last Words, Midquest, More Shapes than One, Brighten the Corner Where You Are, and I Am One of You Forever.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

CHEYENNE CHERRY-SERIAL KILLER IN TRAINING

Only in New York could a 17 year old girl - in just 24 months time: steal an I-Pod at gun point, steal a dog at gun point and ransom it, assault a small child - and get off with only a slap on the wrist each time. THEN CHEYENNE CHERRY COOKS A LIVE KITTEN TO DEATH IN A HOT OVEN AND GETS OFF WITH NO TIME IN JAIL, AGAIN!
A Bronx teenager roasted her ex-roommate's kitten to death in a stove - then brushed off the incident as a joke when she was busted, authorities said Thursday. "I hate cats," Cheyenne Cherry, 17, allegedly told investigators when asked about the heartless crime ........ in a shocking act of animal abuse, they tossed the woman's kitten, Tiger Lily, into the stove and cranked up the temperature ....... the kitten was burned so badly a necropsy had to be performed to determine its sex.

What are these judges thinking and where are her parents? Cheyenne Cherry's only defense was "it was a joke". My Mom and Dad would have skinned me alive for animal cruelty and they would have flat out killed me (actually, they would have made me wish I was dead) for any kind of robbery, much less armed thuggery. I would have had to beg the cops to keep me in jail, because that would have been safer than going home!

I hope Cheyenne Cherry rots in hell; but I bet before that happens does she'll become one of the few female serial killers or at the very least a child abuser. It's obvious that this teenage she-devil has no morals, no feelings and no sense of right or wrong. Lets hope she never procreates, any child sentenced to have her for a mother wouldn't stand a chance.

I don't think therapy will help this monster and death's too good for her. She should be locked up for the rest of her life so that other's can rest a little easier. You can tell her what you think about her at her MySpace page:

Cheyenne Cherry myspace: http://www.myspace.com/shortypopoff11

Friday, June 05, 2009

45 LIFE LESSONS

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion,Today is special.
22. Over prepare, and then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone and everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give it time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now..
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42.. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

BORROWED POEM

Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move
rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
one friend who always makes her laugh...
and one who lets her cry..

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
when to try harder...
and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips,
or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...
but its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone...
even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. ..
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...
and a year...

What Women Should Know About Men

1. If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming to high.

2. Women don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

3. The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you've got sick of him.

4. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probaly lies about other things too.

5. A woman's work that is never done, is the stuff she asked her husband to do.

6. If you want a nice man go for a bald one -- they try harder.

7. Go for younger men. You might as well -- they never mature anyway.

8. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -- "don't" and "stop" (but not used together).

9. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

10. Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out of the bath to pee.

11. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is.

12. Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men -- a women.

13. There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -- strong, caring, loving -- they'd be wrong but you could still use them!

14. Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive and potentially violent -- but they make great pets!

15. Mens brains are like the prison system -- not enough cells per man.

16. Husbands are like children -- they're fine if they're someone else's.

Monday, May 18, 2009

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS

I came home from work and mowed 1/2 the yard, the sun went down before I could get finished. But the sun is shining and Friday when I finally get a day off it's supposed to rain so I have to "make hay while the sun shines" as it were.

I'm supposed to have the weekend off (crosses fingers) so maybe I'll have something to blog about. The roller derby is in Huntsville and I'd like to go, maybe the Gods will smile on me and I'll get to have some live entertainment.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

SUNSHINE ON MY SHOULDER

Finally, a day off and the sun is shining! It seems like it's been raining forever, and the weatherman says that it's gonna rain again tomorrow. I managed to get the jungle that passes for a lawn mowed; I had to go over it twice and still there's stalks of grass that defied my poor tired old mower. At least now you can see the rose that managed to bloom in the midst of the knee high weeds/grass.

I don't have anything to blog about, all work and no play makes for a dull Junebugg.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

BAD ASS

This happened not far from where I live, that's what I call one bad ass. From the Florence Times Daily, Farm Animal Believed To Have Killed 6' Alligator.
ROGERSVILLE - Jay Cornelius knew his family's donkeys and mules are fearless when it comes to protecting the horses they share a pasture with, but he never dreamed they would take on an alligator.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

What ever happened to summer? After weeks of weather in the 70s; everyone wearing tank tops and flip flops, its frigging cold! The radio said it was in the 20s when I left work this morning with threats of snow flurries today and tonight. It’s almost Easter, this is Alabama for Pete’s sake; it’s supposed to be warm and Good Friday is the traditional day to plant your garden. All the trees are budding, the fruit trees are in full bloom and now they’ll all get frost bitten and there go the fruit crops.

Cold or not, I’m off for the next few days and I’ve got tons of stuff to do. One of the need-to-dos is the yard but that’s gotta wait until the temp rises a few degrees. My new dog (that I rescued from the truck stop parking lot near work) has dragged home all the neighbors’ garbage. He doesn’t get in my trash, just collects stray shoes and clothing and cans from somewhere else and brings it to me. Maybe he thinks that I need more stuff or else it’s all supposed to be presents. Who knows what goes on in his adorable pointy little head?

I’m off now to find something warm to wear and maybe browse a few blogs while doing laundry. Maybe I’ll even visit a few of y’all.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

HONEY, I'M HOME

It’s been one of those weeks, and not in a good way. My allergies have been kicking my ass from all the pollen in the air (yellow dust all over the place, I had to run the wipers to clear my windshield before leaving the house). I’ve got bloodshot eyes and I’ve blew my poor nose so many times that I’ve suffered nose bleeds a couple of times, plus the constant tissue contact has made me look like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer! Scarlet laced eyes, crimson nose, not a good look for an old woman; plus they don’t go well with the double chin and chipmunk cheeks.

Now that the rain has hit maybe my ruby colored snout will get better. I went grocery shopping in the sunshine and just as I walked out the exit the heavens opened and a solid sheet of rain poured down. I looked like a drowned rat by the time I got to the car and was dripping wet after getting everything in the trunk. The pollen was making golden ripples on top of the water running across the parking lot; I’m hoping that the air has been washed clean as well. I’m home now; the thunder is rolling, the rain is pounding on the roof and the TV is ranting about hail and possible tornadoes. Ah, life in the glorious South.

Tuesday I went to the funeral home for 2 different neighbors. They lived right across the road from each other and died on the same day (who would have thunk it). One had been sick for a long time and the other guy broke his ankle and died from a blood clot. I grew up with their kids and renewed several friendships at the funeral home, not the best place to run up on old friends but what can you do?

I need to go do some housework now, gotta go back to work tomorrow night and when I’m working all I do is work and sleep. I usually cook a lot on my off days and load the fridge so I can grab and go and not eat a lot of takeout. Hope y’all are all well and I’ll try to do better at the blog posting thingy.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

AND I QUOTE:

I've never been one to fear my own death. Not that I want to die, of course. I've just always seen death as a lights-out proposition. You're gone. Either it's the end of you ... or it's a beginning. Either way, I don't imagine there's much looking back. I've never bought the whole fire-and-brimstone thing, the concept of reward or punishment at death. The idea that a tally has been kept of our good or evil or mediocre deeds, and that the soul is filed away accordingly for all eternity, just doesn't ring true. Humans judge that way. I tend to think that God probably doesn't. He or she just keeps doling out the lessons with endless patience until you finally "get it" in this life or the next.
"Sliver of Truth" by Lisa Unger