Tuesday, March 25, 2008

EMAIL

I recieved this today and it hit me just right.:

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old.

Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror who looks like my father!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50's, 60's & 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet dies?

But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. if I feel like it.

10 comments:

Ol' Lady said...

So true...sounds about right to me...and there really is nothing wrong with stayin up till 4 and sleepin till noon :) trust me on that one :)

yellowdog granny said...

yeah some one asked me that and i sid
'it fucking sucks' and bipped them right up side the head...smartasses.

Mild Red (The Person Formerly Known As Ananke) said...

I gotta agree, the older I get, the less I care about what people think of me. But does anyone ever really feel old? Not me!!!! ;-)

Mimi said...

very good one, I hope to be old one day:)

Jeff said...

You bring inspiration to this corner of the North East. Looking at things the way you do no longer makes me afraid. I only wish my mind is where yours is when I reach that wiser age.

I loved your answer.

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ell said...

I agree wholeheartedly.

There's a tremendous feeling of freedom and ease in one's own skin that comes with getting older. Younger people will not understand until they get here.

anonymous jones said...

Buggsy, what can I say, you're a poet!

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texlahoma said...

One of the worst dreams or nightmares I ever had was one where I was young again and had to do what my parents told me to do and all that stuff.
I forget how old I am sometimes too.
It's kind of like living in an old house, you don't really notice it that much from the inside.