Wednesday, August 09, 2006


"Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty."
Mother Teresa

Loneliness is a very powerful emotion. It can lead to depression, illness, even suicide. Do you feel unfulfilled? Don't despair, I have the answer for you! You need a dog!

Just hear me out now! Dogs are the perfect answer to loneliness. You can drag in as late as you want, forget to feed them, step on their tail or pet other dogs and the wonderful mutt will still love you. See, unconditional love! Plus they'll get out and walk with you and protect you from unsavory characters in the dark of the night! How many significant-others can you say that about?

I can help you out. I just happen to have 10 little bundles of joy that will need a home in 5 or 6 weeks. The proud mother is a black lab/bulldog mix and the father is some handsome stranger who slipped in and had his way with the shameless hussy when I wasn’t looking.

I can't tell you much about the babies, other than some are black and others are brown. They're hidden under the deck in a space that's only 2 foot high; when I lie on my belly and peer under there with a flashlight all I can see is a quivering mound of puppy flesh. I don't think my fat ass will fit feel like crawling under there and I’m not taking a chance on getting spider-bit just to count puppies that'll come out on their own in a few weeks anyway.

Sooooo............. how many of y'all can I sign up to adopt one of these wonderful little doggy delights?

No comments: