It’s time once again for the annual swearing of the New Year’s resolution - that time honored tradition where we solemnly make all kinds of wonderful pledges to both ourselves & our loved ones. But all the good intentions and big plans mean naught because deep down in our pudgy little cholesterol laden hearts we know that we’ll never follow through on any them. Those extra 10, 20, (hell admit it) 50 pounds aren’t going anywhere any time soon and even the thought of giving up smoking has you fumbling in your pocket for a light like a drowning man grabbing for a life preserver.
Big business is well aware of all this. January is the prime month of the year for gym memberships while sales of athletic wear and home fitness equipment are higher than at Christmas. Health food stores tout the latest cure all and TV informational push the latest diet/patch/pill that makes the fat melt away and somehow magically makes you look 15 years in the process. Who knew that losing weight would make your gray hair, wrinkles & eye baggage go away?
Get real people. If you DID lose all that weight you’d look like a Shar-Pei with all that excess skin drooping down - although you could save on underwear because that floppy skin apron where your gut used to be is going’a hang down & hide your punanny/pecker from view. Which won’t be an issue because you KNOW that you are not gonna give up Big Macs & Snickers and the only time you’ll lace up your Nike’s will be to go buy goodies at the store.
Loose skin, jingly butt cheeks, drooping jowls, chicken wing upper arms. Wait I’ve got all those already! Damn it all, I’m gonna have to do it, make a resolution and count on y’all to keep me honest.
RESOLUTIONS:
1. Get Healthy
2.....
'Heck, one is enough for me',
1 comments:
I hate to lie..so I never make resolutions.
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