Well, I have an official (of a sort) diagnosis of what ails me. One of the guys here at work has decided that I have distemper because his prize birddog had the same symptoms!
He kindly offered to bring his cattle syringe and farm-grade penicillin out to the plant and give me a shot, claiming that it cured the K-9 so of course it’ll cure a person. Lucky for me I’m allergic so I could turn down his compassionate offer without getting snotty and offending his fragile male ego. I guess you could say that he would qualify as my Redneck Hero for at least caring enough to offer.
I finally found some Triaminicin at Walgreens. Triaminicin is the only thing that really works for me other than NyQuil which of course I can't take at work. It seems that Walgreens scored the patent on Triaminicin and no one else is allowed to sell it. At last, GOOD DRUGS!
I think I might live now.