Saturday, July 30, 2005


I’ve been having the weirdest dreams lately. I don’t usually remember my dreams or maybe I don’t dream all that often, but these night-terrors have been jerking me out of a sound sleep. I’ll be sleeping the sleep of the innocent (hey it sounded good) and suddenly find myself sitting straight up in bed with my heart pounding a mile a minute, straining to hear some menace (real or imagined) in the dark that may have caused me to wake up in a panic.

Last night I dreamed my Dad and I were at my parents’ home and everywhere I looked we were surrounded by tornadoes. Pieces of the roof from the barn were flying by, the sound was deafening, and we were both standing in the front yard watching our world fall apart. No matter how much I begged or how hard I struggled to drag him by the arm I couldn’t get him to go to storm shelter just at the bottom of the terrace.

This one is easy. Dad died without a will (although we begged him to write one) and having to go through probate and all the sisters, in-laws and outlaws squabbling is tearing our family apart.

A couple of days ago I had a quirky dream. I’m dreading having to go on a diet to control my blood sugar and I’m scheduled to attend a Diabetic Class this coming Tuesday afternoon. I’m not diabetic but pre-diabetic and the Dr. says that I have to start eating right to keep from going into Type 2.

I’ve been talking to friends who are diabetic and everyone says the same thing, “You have to give up all celebrations unless you’re a masochist”. Baby showers, reunions, Church functions, get-to-gathers with friends, house-warmings, and parties of any kind: all social gatherings of any kind revolve around food and drink.

I’ve been looking on the internet to get an idea of how to eat. It seems mostly vegetables and only certain ones at that. One friend’s Dr. doesn’t allow her any fruit of any kind, no oil of any kind, no carbs of any kind, no red meat, no beans except green beans and English peas, no sauces, etc, etc. The woman lives off of oatmeal for breakfast, dry baked chicken, green beans, and salad with no dressing. She’s been eating this for 3 years! She’s also stopped going out or doing anything but attending Church twice a week (being sure to leave before any refreshments are served!). The woman is a hermit and lonely. But her blood sugar is doing well.

I dreamed that I stayed on her diet for I don’t know how long before I decided that kind of life wasn’t worth living and slit my wrists to escape such a torturous existence. But I’d eaten so many green vegetables that when the razor parted the skin my blood squirted out as a green fountain shooting up into the air! I looked down, saw this alien-looking blood oozing from my arm and woke up screaming!

I know, it won’t be that bad. Tell my subconscious. I’ve been binging lately. Big Macs, chocolate, steak and baked potatoes, pintos and cornbread; everything that I’ll never be able to eat again. I tell anyone who fusses that I haven’t been to school yet, so I can pretend not to know any better. I’m a big girl; I can lie to myself if I want to!!

Enough, the dreams get weirder and I’m not even going to get into the sexy ones (I’m weird that way too). Wish me luck and pass the chocolate.

1 comment:

Trée said...

Oh what a tease with that last paragraph. Passing the dark chocolate--you know what recent research says about dark choclolate don't you? ;)