After stumbling around with a candle, trying to find clean clothes and not trip over the stupid cats rubbing against my ankles, I started driving to work and almost hit a kamikaze deer (I swear I heard her holler "Banzai" as she leaped right in front of the car!).
It's gonna be one of those days! To try and get us all in the Christmas spirit, I'll leave you with this:
Santa knows if you've been naughty or nice, so what does he leave for naughty little girls and boys? Reindeer Poop! To make this silly stocking stuffer, place a handful of malted milk balls in a zipper food storage bag. Seal and label with the following poem:
I woke up with such a scare when I heard Santa call...
"Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!"
I ran to the lawn, and in the snowy white drifts,
Those nasty reindeer had left "little gifts".
I got an old shovel and started to scoop
Neat little piles of "reindeer poop."
But to throw them away seemed such a waste,
So I saved them, thinking you might like a taste!
As I finished my task, which took quite a while,
Old Santa passed by and he sheepishly smiled.
And I heard him exclaim as he rose to the sky,
"Well, they're not potty trained, but at least they can fly!"