He: How’s your boyfriend, did he get over his motorcycle wreck?
Me: I don’t have a boyfriend.
He: Damn, did he hit his head that hard?
He: The idiot must have brain damage to let a woman like you get away!
My head and ego both swell up at the compliment.
Me: Thank you! That’s a really sweet thing to say.
He: Yeah, you’re funny, smart and you got a damn good job. Any man who lets a woman with money get away is an idiot.
Can you hear the hissing of my head and ego both deflating at an alarming rate? At least I know that I can weigh 400 lbs, be as wrinkled as a Chinese Shar-Pei and look like shit and still attract a man as long as I have a job.