Wednesday, January 31, 2007


When I left work at 5 AM this morning there was no doubting that the temperature had dropped drastically overnight, my ears and face immediately felt like what I can only describe as frostbitten. I stepped out of the alleyway and into the street; greeted by an icy wind that body-slammed me and caused me to stagger back several steps before regaining my feet. I ultimately had to hunch over like some wizened old crone and lean into the Arctic blast before making my way toward the clock alley and on to the parking lot. Thank Goddess that someone has scattered rock salt on all the slick patches or else I would have probably broken one of my well padded but semi-elderly hips.

By the time I reached my car all exposed skin was numb & tingly and I felt the first beginnings of that most unbecoming of winter accessories, the dreaded snotsicle, hanging off the end of my nose and my trembling hands had a hard time getting the key in the hole to unlock the car door. I cranked Ozzie up and headed out for the house (at least the wind kept the windshield clear).

About half way home the heater had kicked in and most of my body parts had thawed out except for the blocks of ice where my feet used to be, when I noticed that I had left an almost full Diet Mountain Dew sitting in the console from the day before. Hoping it wouldn’t be too flat I opened the bottle and tipped it up. Nothing came out! Dang, the sucker had frozen overnight! This is supposed to be the Sunny South, what happened to our warm winter that had blessed us so far?

After making it home and taking a long nap with Shitty Kitty snuggling on top of my head ( whither she was keeping me warm or trying to stay warm herself I haven’t a clue, who knows what cats think) I made the mistake of going by Wal-Mart to pick up the pictures from Karen’s surprise birthday party last Friday. I had forgotten that the weather man was predicting snow & ice for tonight and tomorrow.

It’s a long held Southern tradition that anytime anyone anywhere mentions the remote chance of frozen precipitation of any kind falling within a 100 mile radius of your home that one absolutely MUST rush out and buy bread and milk (don’t ask me why, I keep my pantry stocked enough to last for weeks anyway). The parking lot was packed, checkout lines snaked all the way across the store, all the bread and milk was gone and folks were scuffling to get checked out and home so they could sit in front of the Weather Channel and watch the white & pink smudges on the weather map approach Alabama. People were on their cell phones reminding others to hurry and get stocked up on provisions because “It’s gonna snow!” Heck, nothing has fallen yet and they're already either delaying school openings or canceling school altogether.

I managed to grab my pictures and get out so I could make it to work on time. I just hope my relief makes it here in the morning, I don’t feel like getting “snowed in” here at work. Alabama don’t have the equipment or the manpower to clear the roads or scatter salt like the states up North (we don't get enough of the frozen stuff to make our politicians put out that kinda money) and we usually don’t get snow, we get ice storms. I promise you that if I can get out of here, I WILL MAKE IT HOME. The only problem is that the Rednecks around here don’t know how to drive on ice, so it makes for some interesting visuals. Nothing like sitting at a stop sign and watching in the rear view mirror as a 4X4 truck slides toward you sideways with no way to get out of it’s path.......

Most of the pictures came out dark, so I'll have to do a little editing when I get home. This is Karen as the staff of the Mexican restaurant sang "Happy Birthday" to her. (As usual, click on the picture to see a larger view)


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