REDNECK WEDDING

After all these weeks I've finally gotten around to developing the pictures I took at my nephew's Redneck Wedding. It's a bitch when real life interferes with the pleasures of life but I gotta work to eat, so what's a girl to do.

I have to admit that this was the best wedding that I've ever been to. It was outdoors, they served pintos and cornbread at the reception, the bride's relatives provided live entertainment and everything came off without a hitch (bad pun; hitch, getting hitched. Oh well, you get it).

My sister Teresa (mother of the groom), 3rd of us 5 girls, and her husband Randy.
Both the groom and groom's man wore high top Converse sneakers.
Whispering sweet nothings
Told you it was redneck! Brock, the groom's man.
Paul and Erica, the happy couple


The bride and bride's maid buck dancing at the reception.

I wish Paul and Erica all the happiness in the world. If their mariage goes half as well as the wedding did they'll be an old couple holding hands while they watch their grandchildren play. We should all be so lucky.......

REAL WOMEN

This is a post from last year that is near and dear to my heart considering that I have always had an "hourglass figure" and now that I'm over 50 I seem to have more "sand" than ever! Let's hear it for us "real women"!

Auguste Renoir once said "There is enough ugliness in the world -- why should we paint ugly pictures?" So, this young lady, the subject of Seated Bather (1883-1884) certainly wasn't what he considered ugly! She fits the lush, rounded style of Renoir's era.

It seems I was born too late, dang it.

Gustave Klimt is considered one of the foremost definers of the Art Nouveau movement, which emphasised use of sensuous curving lines and forms. There is nothing "supermodel-like" about his Danae (1907). Her thigh is much more familiar to most of us than the thin, tubelike thighs that are considered attractive now

This painting by Pablo Picasso (one of my favorite artists) always makes me smile, just for the sheer joy and fun of it! Bet you thought that Picasso only painted what looked like bits of people all stuck together the wrong way? That was only one of his artistic periods.

Though the perspective and proportions are deliberately skewed, and this is not an attempt at realism, these women are definitely of "heroic" proportions. Don't they look happy? Who says you have to have ribs sticking out to be joyous and attractive? Why wait until you lose weight before you start doing all the things you want to do?


Here are some statistics for you:
*Most fashion models are thinner than 98% of American women
*The average fashion model is 5'9" to 6' tall, weighs 110 - 118 lbs and is seventeen to twenty-six years old & wears a size 6 - 8 dress.
*The average American woman is 5'5" tall, weighs 142 lbs, and is 44 years old.
*Forty percent of women wear a size 14 or above...
*Sales of plus-size clothes in 1996 were more than $20 billion...
*Plus size sales rose to $47 billion in 2005.
*Lillian Russell, the leading sex symbol at the end of the 19th century, weighed over 200 pounds.
*Marilyn Monroe would be considered "overweight" by today's standards. She fluctuated between a size 14 and size 18 dress

I'M STILL HERE.......

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of family related activities. The wedding of my nephew to the great-niece of one of my nearest and dearest friends (which I guess makes us in-laws or outlaws or something along those lines). The funeral of my semi-adopted son’s paternal grandmother. My grandson’s 8th birthday and Sweet Thang’s first day back to work after his traumatic motorcycle accident last April. Working 12 hour shifts on a10 day shutdown at work myself. And on and on and so forth; the responsibilities of real life sometimes leave little time for the things we love to do.

In other words, I haven’t posted because I’ve barely had time to sleep or do laundry or any of other mundane chores that we all have to do on a daily basis, much less try to come up with something witty or entertaining to put out on the web. Not to say that I’m ever witty or entertaining, but you get my meaning.

Perhaps fall’s cooler weather and slower pace will bring about a new scattering of posts along with the fallen leaves that are starting to cover my much neglected lawn. I hope that y’all will bear with me and I promise that I’ll get around to visiting your sites just as soon as I catch my breath.The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of family related activities. The wedding of my nephew to the great-niece of one of my nearest and dearest friends (which I guess makes us in-laws or outlaws or something along those lines). The funeral of my semi-adopted son’s paternal grandmother. My grandson’s 8th birthday and Sweet Thang’s first day back to work after his traumatic motorcycle accident last April. Working 12 hour shifts on a10 day shutdown at work myself. And on and on and so forth; the responsibilities of real life sometimes leave little time for the things we love to do.

In other words, I haven’t posted because I’ve barely had time to sleep or do laundry or any of other mundane chores that we all have to do on a daily basis, much less try to come up with something witty or entertaining to put out on the web. Not to say that I’m ever witty or entertaining, but you get my meaning.

Perhaps fall’s cooler weather and slower pace will bring about a new scattering of posts along with the fallen leaves that are starting to cover my much neglected lawn. I hope that y’all will bear with me and I promise that I’ll get around to visiting your sites just as soon as I catch my breath.

MEN ARE LIKE.......

For all those men who say "Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free", here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage. WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.


Men are like....
1. Men are like ...Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like. Bananas ....... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ...... Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .......Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like .... Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ......Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .....Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like .Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ....... Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots .......... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

THUMB'S UP

A big thumbs up to the guy I saw in Decatur, AL yesterday. Two women's car had broken down in the middle lane of a busy highway and they were attempting to push it out of the way. Traffic was buzzing past them in the 103 degree heat with everyone looking and pointing but no one even considered stopping to help. While I was hunting a place to stop my car and help, this fine sample of Southern gentlemanhood stopped in the middle of the road, put his emergency flashers on, removed his suit jacket and helped the ladies to push their car into a nearby service station.

Who said that chivalry is dead? So to the white haired feller with the cute white goatee, well done and thumbs up!

ROAD TRIP

Flashing blue lights illuminate a sullen young man being shaken down by two cops underneath an overpass. Bumper to bumper traffic in both directions as far as the eye can see. A young homeless woman walking slump-shouldered beneath the shade of a broken black umbrella in the 105 degree heat, dragging all her worldly belongings stuffed in a lawn-sized black trash bag and piled on top of a child’s toy wagon with a broken wheel behind her.

These are some of the sights that greeted me in Marietta, Georgia, where I’ve been on a work project for the last three days. I’m just a simple country girl from a small town. We don’t have homeless people sleeping in doorways, a traffic jam is usually caused by an accident, and the police are more likely to be seen in the diner than doing a roadside pat down. I’ve traveled a great deal for personal reasons and I’ve visited large cities before; but this was my first job related trip and my first taste of the life of a “road warrior”. After seeing this side of city life I was glad to come back to Moulton, Alabama.

I went to Marietta, Georgia (Marietta is the third largest of three principal cities and is included in the Atlanta-Sandy Springs-Marietta, Georgia Metropolitan Statistical Area) with a couple of co-workers, one of our E/I (electrical/instrumentation) guys, and an engineer to help design new operating software for our department at the plant. We met with a company named Feed Forward Inc and a rep from Rockwell Automation who did the actual programming. It was an interesting trip, I learned a lot about the tech side of my job and I’ll be one of the people teaching the rest of my co-workers how to operate the new systems when it gets implemented.

Any thoughts of spending nights out on the town were banished by the long hours we put in. We got to the offices early and worked late; leaving at dark-thirty gave us just enough time to go eat and crash in our respective rooms so we could do the same thing the next day.

I’m proud to be home, and I want to thank the guys at Feed Forward who treated us well, fed us great food on the job and were extremely patient with all my dumb questions. There’s no way I could do their job (who knew that you could do so much with just 1s and 0s) and I was impressed with the job they did.

Now I’m off to check in on my blog buddies, I’ve missed y’all.

FISHING STORY

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman."

But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

(Got this from my cousin Danny C.)

NOT YET

Elliott Funeral Home
Peace-of-mind from knowing “it’s all been taken care of.”
15215 Court Street*Moulton, AL 35650

Dear Junebugg,
You’d be surprised. Funeral pre-planning (yes, funeral pre-planning) actually can be interesting and quite pleasant. Within a friendly and comfortable setting, you’ll discover the one memorial style most right for you-the one memorial style most right for celebration your life.

WTF! At the admittedly advanced age of 51 I realize that I’m no spring chicken, any delusions of youth I still harbored in my pea sized brain were squashed after the first dozen or so mailings from AAARP and then I find this invitation to plan my own going away party in the mailbox. I do not, and let me repeat this loud and clear so there can be no misunderstanding, DO NOT have any intention of starring at my own funeral any time soon.

How can anyone possibly think planning for your own demise would in any way possibly be “quite pleasant”? Myself, I prefer to pretend that I’ll live forever because I subscribe to the philosophy that “Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "...holy shit..., what a ride!” I’ll celebrate my life while I’m still living, thank you very much. Maybe I’m wrong but I think I’d enjoy the party much more if I’m still breathing while it’s going on.

Besides, I’ll be deceased, departed, gone. Why would I care if my casket is pine or mahogany, bronze or brass? Heck, stick me in a cardboard box for all I’ll mind because I’ll be dead, people. Sing any hymens you want, talk bad about me, tell any embarrassing stories that you can think of and maybe even make up a few extra because, not to repeat myself but, I’ll be dead.

I’d rather spend my money on new shoes, a day at the spa, a few hang gliding lessons and a 6 month cruise around the world. I’ve spent my whole life taking care of other people; the least they can do is plan my funeral for me when I’m gone.

YEA ME!

Wahoo! This morning for the very first time I actually lasted a full 20 minutes on the elliptical machine. Not too shabby considering it was 4:00 A.M and I haven't been quit smoking for that long; plus the first time that I set foot on the damn thing I couldn’t even go 3 minutes. Granted I was melting and dripping all over the floor this morning but damn it, I did it!!!!!! I would have done a happy dance all over the gym but my knees were wobbly and I didn’t want to embarrass myself by falling on my face in front of all my workout buddies.

Wonder how long I’d have to stay on the evil elliptical to work off all that gloriously fattening but oh so tasty, totally to-die-for 4 cheese baked polenta (that’s Italian grits for all y’all Southerners out there) that I cooked and ate yesterday? Leftovers are hidden in my lunch for today, yum!

COOL IDEA

I found this over at Spicy Bug's and just had to jump on the bandwagon.

COOL IDEA

Join the Google PR Chain!! You don’t have to be on this list to join. Just grab it and join.

** Start Copy Here **

We all know how important getting link backs is and with this chain, you can get the ball rolling! You don’t have to be an established blogger to take part in this chain.

Here are the rules:
1. Copy this post from the point where it says “Start Copy Here” to the point where it says “End Copy Here”
2. Add yourself and 5 of your favorite bloggers to the end of the list.
3. Post this on your blog

The Prize Blog, Enkay Blog, Ms. Danielle, Cash For Comments, BetShopBoy, JohnCow, Mr. Gary Lee, Jon Lee, Dosh Dosh, Some Make Money, The King Kong Blog, RomanDock, Michael Kwan, Ed Lau, Jane May, Sam Breadstone, Samanathon, Shadowscope, My Single Mom Life, The BenSpark, Tricia’s Musings, GeekySpeaky, TJ’s Anti-Contrarian Blog , Public Pondering , Freedom Now , Neocon Command Center , Woman Honor Thyself , We Can’t All be Washingtons , The Sassy Southerner, Vegan Momma, Just a touch of sweetness, BushMackel, Suncoast Scribe, Hippiespelunker, Kshippychic, A Purple Shade of Black, MACKEYDOODLE, Spicy Bug, Maryannaville, G-Man, Whatever Blows My Skirt , Transformations, B-My Life My Thoughts, Raising L, Reconstitution , Wasted Days Wasted Nites, Cyber Outlaw's Hangout, Boobs Injuries and Dr. Pepper, Yellowdog Granny, Life of the Cake Lady, Got Nothing But Toe Jam,
YOUR BLOG HERE!
**End Copy Here**

MOVE YOUR ASS

As I’ve complained bragged talked about before, I’ve been on a self improvement kick (i.e. quit smoking, move my ample derriere and get some exercise, maybe even try to eat a little healthier). Sweet Thang is still recovering from his motorcycle mishap; after 3 months being bed-ridden and wheelchair-bound, you’d think he would be chomping at the bit to get back in shape. So the obvious idea would be that we do things together, providing each other with encouragement etc etc . Wrong.

Although Sweet Thang is hobbling around on a cane, he can’t hold out for very long. I’ve been trying to get him to go walking with me but he moans that it’s too hot. Don’t tell his Mom, but the only outing that he’s been interested in is going to the bar and shooting pool while drinking beer with his hard ankle buddies. As a matter of fact, it's the first place he drove when he managed to escape from Mom's watchful eye. So I suggested “mall walking” and he actually got insulted; informing me that’s what “old women do”. Hell, the oldest woman I know can run circles around him; if he doesn’t get his fat ass in gear he’ll never be able to go back to work and I’ll be damned if I’ll feel sorry for him OR support him.

I took him to Sears just to get him out of the house and he lasted about 30 minutes; heck I thought every man alive could spend all day in Sears! The same thing happened at Hartselle’s indoor flea market; 30 minutes and we had to go. I managed to get him to go to the movies and he did stay for the whole film (Live Free or Die Hard; excellent flick, lots of bang for your buck). However he shifted and moaned and groaned the whole time and when it came time to leave it took him 10 minutes just to get out of his seat. The man's gotta start moving or he's going to develop rust!

I know it’s gonna be a long, hard recovery but Sweet Thang has got to get out from in front of the TV and put forth some effort. It’s been 4 months; the bones have healed but his muscles have gone to shit. Yeah, I know it hurts but nothing’s going to make it better other than just grit your teeth and “Get ‘Er Done”. His Aunt has offered the use of her swimming pool for the aqua therapy that his Dr. recommended but I can’t get him to even try. Maybe if I get a cattle prod and keep zapping him he’ll get in gear………..

In other news, I’ve got a new ‘do, y’all. I’ve been foiled! As Ashley worked on giving me a metal head, I glanced in the mirror and scared myself! The image reflected back at me looked like something from SETI looking for radio signals. You know, evidence of life on other planets. ET, phone home!!

So now I have lovely tri-tone tresses, my ever increasing gray hairs are camouflaged, and the guys at work are actually giving me compliments. I must look OK, usually I have to shave my head before they notice so compliments are a big deal. Plus they keep asking me how much weight I’ve lost. My clothes fit differently, I can actually shimmy into some jeans that I haven’t worn in several years and zip them while standing up, but the dad gummed #%*^%^# scales haven’t budged.

I guess I’m rearranging my body even if I haven’t dropped any pounds. I did get my body fat content and measurements taken at Curves the other day; every thing was about what I imagined, not good but improving. But I was shocked at my bust measurement, I'm 48 inches around the boobs! Now I know why I weigh so much, I've got 50 pounds of titties weighing me down. I knew I wear several sizes bigger in tops than bottoms but dang y'all. Now I feel lop-sidded.

Sorry I’ve been MIA, I promise to do better. I just got high speed at home so it should be easier for me to post from there. Heck; new hair, new modem, tighter ass ………. Who knows what’ll happen next!

6 WORD STORY

I got the idea from here and thought "What a great idea for a post!"

Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words
("For sale: baby shoes, never worn.")
and is said to have called it his best work.

These are some of my favorite examples given in the article:

Longed for him. Got him. Shit.- Margaret Atwood
With bloody hands, I say good-bye.- Frank Miller
The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.- Orson Scott Card

I even found this where the author composed 6 Word Stories to match her Flicker Photos. So I guess I need to write mine and then I want y'all to post your 6 Word Story in the comments. OK, how hard can it be? Only 6 words, here goes nothing.......

Potato peels. Bloody knife. Band-aid. Ouch!

I know, not great writing. So what if I used band-aid as one word!!! It has a hyphen so I'm gonna keep it as one word. Let's see YOU do better.

BODY IMAGE

“I used to have a body like this”.

I flashed the picture of a skinny, bikini clad, hard body, anorexic 20-something model on the cover of Fitness magazine at Sweet Thang as he gave me a much deserved foot rub.

“Yeah, I remember when you looked like that”.

One of my patented over-the-glasses go-to-hell looks.

“You know Baby, you still look like that to me.”

Smart man, very very smart man………

WORKOUT

THE HARDER I TRY.......

It came out of the dark and hit me like a ten pound hammer. That damn craving, the one I thought was gone for good. My mouth filled with slobber and I strangled the steering wheel in a white-knuckled death grip. I gulped air, practicing those deep breathing exercises that’s supposed to help and all the while hungered for a smoke with every atom of my being.

Thank whatever deity that was looking after me, at 3:30 AM on rural highway 33 as it wound down Courtland mountain with moonlight sifting through the woods and coyotes' eyes gleaming in the dark, there was nowhere to buy a pack and no one to bum off of; I was safe from temptation. After checking the mirror to make sure I wasn’t foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog I drove the rest of the way into work and hit the gym, hoping to sweat out this devilish hankering for a cancer stick.

I’ve been soooooooo good for so long. Why now, after weeks of being smoke free, do I crave the damn things? When will I be free from this weakness? I haven’t even attempted a diet, just tried to stay smoke-free and away from the lure of other smokers.

I come from the age when smoking was considered "grown up" and "romantic". You know, back in the stone ages before Uncle Sam let us all know that tobacco was a killer. Watch any old movie, the hero always lights his lady love's cig. Then you have the gratuitous dual "smoking in the bed after sex" scene. Hell, back then smoking was cool and sexy and almost everyone lit up. Now old folks like me are fighting the habit, and some of us are fighting a losing battle.

Almost my entire family smoked back then, most of them still do. The habit contributed greatly to my Mom's death; so I know it's bad for me, that it stinks and is a nasty habit. But damn it's hard to give up!

Work opened a really nice gym on the plant site and I’ve been going in early on days and staying over after midnights in the hope of gaining a little muscle and thinking perhaps my gasping for breath on the cardio portion would help me resist the siren call of tobacco. I usually do 10 minutes of stretches, 20 minutes of cardio, 20 minutes of weight training, 20 more minutes of cardio and then a final 10 minutes of stretches. I've even conquered the incline sit-up bench! Not too shabby for an over-the-hill old broad who sits on her arse 12 hours a day for a living.

The plan was to get off of tobacco, get in semi-shape and then work on the food portion of my “get healthier.” plan. When you pass the age of 50 you have to work a lot harder on getting in shape. Plus I’m a hedonist so I’ve been putting off the diet part; I didn’t think I could give up good food and smoking at the same time.

Oh well, I guess it's back to one day at a time. I've resisted Demon Tobacco, now if I can just kick my honey bun habit.......

Gettin' Old

You know you're getting old when you get dirt on your boobs and not one of the hard-ankles that you work with offer to help dust them off..........

ONLINE BOOK RESOURCE

Working midnight shift, on the few occasions that things run smoothly, it sometimes gets hard to stay awake. I usually resort to covert blogging, smuggling in a verboten book (no VIPs here at 2 in the A.M. to ask if it's work related) or mindless eating. However, several days ago while cruising the web I struck pay dirt!

I happily stumbled on The Online Books Page, which is a"website that facilitates access to books that are freely readable over the Internet. It also aims to encourage the development of such online books, for the benefit and edification of all." In other words, it doesn't host books but instead links to ones already on the web. The page formats are whatever the author or poster selected, so you find everything from plain text to wonderful artwork and some of the works are really old obscure writings that wouldn't see the light of day without being on the web.

It has everything from novels to poems, short stories and history, fact and fiction, written by authors both known and nobody. If you have a book or short story already on the web you can have it listed there for free. All this has given me access to stories and information that I would have never found before and damn if I don't love it!

I'm currently reading "The Ape Man" by James Ogilvy (1834-1914) which is sourced from the ERBZine, The Official Edgar Rice Burroughs Tribute and Weekly Webzine Site (owners Bill and Sue-On Hillman love ERB, whom they have dubbed "Master of Imaginative Fantasy Adventure Creator of Tarzan® and "Grandfather of American Science Fiction") as "The Ape-Man: his Kith and Kin A collection of texts which prepared the advent of Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs". I don't know if old Edgar ever read the story, but it follows along the same lines As Tarzan and is definitely keeping me awake!

Check it out some time, it makes for some interesting browsing and you never know what forgotten gem you might uncover. Happy reading, y'all.

BONUS: Check out the picture stating ONLINE BOOKS in my sidebar, it links to a page with lots more online book resources!

BURPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Can you OD on food? I think I’ve turned into a food zombie this week! You know what I mean, one of those walking talking overstuffed brainless eating machines. Sweet Thang’s relatives from several outlaying states came home for the holidays; so as a result the entire week has gone by in a blur of gluttony and “Now which one is she?” I'm good at remembering faces but names elude me and this week I was in the midst of lots of unknown folks.

The grill and fish fryer smoked like wildfires, TWO ice-cream freezers sat on the patio whirling and churning all manner of creamy goodness (they made strawberry, coconut, and peach ice-cream), friends and family made a constant parade of covered dishes emitting savory aromas, cakes pies and deserts lined the kitchen counter, and the air conditioner rumbled incessantly in a losing battle to cool down a house where both the stove and oven worked nonstop and the doors never stayed shut. I guess it's true, "Nothing says lovin' like something from the oven".

Everyone ate till they 'bout popped then sat around moaning, groaning, burping, farting and napping until it was time to do it all again. About sundown the game boards, dominoes and cards came out and the house echoed with catcalls and taunts because the entire clan are completive and love to best each other at anything. The house was packed with people and a loving atmosphere; at bed time they were draped over every couch and chair plus the kids camped out in the yard, all the little boys terrorizing the girls with spooky stories and then slipping up in the dark to scratch on the tent or make “spooky” noises. The crowd started arriving on Saturday and most of them left on Friday, although one or two are still lingering.......

This is the first time my family hasn’t gotten together for the 4th. I didn’t even buy any fireworks (the grandmonster was at his house). It felt kinda weird so I’m glad I had somewhere to go and people to keep me company. I guess with the passing of both of my parents it’s to be expected that all the old traditions would fall apart but it still doesn’t feel right. I miss all the sisters, nieces and nephews getting together. I’m afraid that before long we’ll be like me and my multitude of cousins, strangers meeting in town and thinking “That looks like Shelia, but it’s been so many years ……. Should I speak or wait to see if she recognizes me?”

Oh well; time moves on, and I guess, so should I. Besides I’ve got my blog family to keep me company and listen to me rant and rave (you do listen, don't ya?).

Hope everyone had a good holiday. I think I need to go to the gym and work off some of this ice-cream that has settled on my arse........

RAIN, RAIN

Hallelujah! It’s finally raining in North Alabama! Although we really need a slow steady rain that lasts for days on end, I’ll settle for these hit or miss thunderstorms that rolled in over the weekend. Mother Nature has been celebrating the 4th of July with thunder, lighting, some gusty winds and even a small tornado or 2; but it’s so dry here that everyone will take any moisture that they can get and be tickled about it.

We’ve been under the highest warning level of drought here in ‘Bama. The powers-that-be had even banned fireworks on the 4th, but after receiving all that wonderful precipitation the burn ban has been lowered to allow sparklers, firecrackers, and any other form of "boom stick" that doesn’t shoot up in the air. My grandmonster is so tickled that he couldn’t wait to light up the night. I'm gonna miss all the dazzling light shows, but after seeing all those wildfires on CNN I'd just as soon not risk it.

Sweet Thang is hobbling around on a walker, looking like a hunkered over old man; but hey, its lots better than the wheelchair! He’s actually starting to get around a little faster, although he’s still a long way from being able to chase me around the house, darn it! At least he's semi-mobile and we're working on him being able to get into and out of my car so we can go places. He's so tired of being house bound that he's threatened to tie his wheelchair to the bumper and let me drag him. One of Sweet Thang's wishes for a 1st outing is going to see the Transformers (guess he's just a big kid after all.)

His Mom and Dad have out-of-town company staying with them this week, so with Sweet Thang already staying there, they’ve got a houseful. They a busy social life anyway, and now they have parties, fish fries and bar-be-ques planned for the entire week. Hey, free food and I don't have to cook? Count me in, I'll bring paper plates and plastic cups in holiday colors so as not to be a bum!

Between Sweet Thang and the grandmonster it sounds like my calendar for the week is full. Y'all have a happy and safe 4th, and don't forget what the day symbolizes besides food and fireworks.

HAPPY DANCE

The current drought has caused a lot of bizarre things here in Alabama this summer: fruit and vegetables at selling at sinful prices, foliage in the colors of autumn instead of banners in the usual Red, White & Blue herald the 4th of July, grass crunches underfoot making it impossible for kids to sneak up on one another during games of tag or hide & go seek, deadly smog levels in our usually fair Southern metropolises have caused cities to put up signs begging folks to stay home and not drive, a lack of summer color because all the flowers are wilted and sere are making this a drab and dreary season instead of the usual floral showstopper that the South is known for.

But it has also brought one sight that I would have never dreamed of; something so fantastic that it brought an instant smile to my face and caused me to wish that I owned a video camera. People, this was an occasion! An event that I have never heard spoken of before, one that I would have never believed if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.......


I saw a squirrel doing a happy dance underneath a lawn sprinkler.

Not just a quick and accidental dash through the shining drops. Nay, that frisky little squirrel spent several hours prancing and dancing, twirling and spinning amid the shower of wetness. I don’t know of any way to describe it other than pure animalistic joy in the hedonistic feel of wet fun on a hot day.

Dang, I love country living!