Tuesday, August 09, 2005

ETHICS ON EBAY & DUMB BLONDES

I recieved this email from James at the Mad Pigeon :


Friends, Countrymen,

In a fit of madness I decided to sell my ethics on eBay. In a jar, that is.

With that, I'm hoping to generate some buzz and controversy and am hoping you might consider mentioning it on your own blogs--providing, of course, you don't find the idea, well, stupid.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5604462271
In return I'll thank supporters (linkbacks included) on my own Site!

Much Obliged,

The Mad Pigeon
Capt James D. Fielder, USAF
Spc-Sgt, USA
1994-1999

People, you have gotta go to eBay and check this out. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants! This is one of the best giggles I've had in ages. James, I salute you and your ethics.

Now for a funny from my buddy, Hippy.

Finally, A Male Blonde Joke


A BLOND GUY GETS HOME EARLY FROM WORK AND HEARS STRANGE NOISES COMING FROM THE BEDROOM. HE RUSHES UPSTAIRS TO FIND HIS WIFE NAKED ON THE BED, SWEATING AND PANTING.

"WHAT'S UP?" HE SAYS.

"I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK," CRIES THE WOMAN.

HE RUSHES DOWNSTAIRS TO GRAB THE PHONE, BUT JUST AS HE'S DIALING, HIS 4-YEAR-OLD SON COMES UP AND SAYS:

"DADDY! DADDY! UNCLE TED'S HIDING IN YOUR CLOSET AND HE'S GOT NO CLOTHES ON!"

THE GUY SLAMS THE PHONE DOWN AND STORMS UPSTAIRS INTO THE BEDROOM, PAST HIS SCREAMING WIFE. HE RIPS OPEN THE WARDROBE DOOR. SURE ENOUGH, THERE IS HIS BROTHER, TOTALLY NAKED, COWERING ON THE CLOSET FLOOR.

"YOU ROTTEN S.O.B.," SAYS THE HUSBAND, "MY WIFE'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK AND YOU'RE RUNNING AROUND NAKED SCARING THE KIDS!"


That's all folks. Y'all be sure to go to eBay and at least give Jame's ethic's a hit. Leave a comment would be even better, and you can actually place a bid if you want, it's up to $.99 so far.

Here's another one from Hippy. He makes it his business to keep me smiling!


Twenty dollars

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highlyaroused state, her husband readily agreed.This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford newclothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

That's when she shot him

.

2 comments:

notyourtypicalsouthernbelle said...

Haha, I'd have shot him, too.

Trée said...

Smart woman. :)