Thursday, August 04, 2005

READING, WRITING, AND ARITHMETIC

My son and I went shopping today for the grandson’s school supplies. Walmart has a list of "necessities" for each grade at the front of the store. Who would have thunk that a kindergartener would need so much!

4 boxes of crayons, 2 bottles of liquid soap, boxes of tissues, 6 glue sticks, the list goes on and on. All must be a certain name brand, no exceptions. Are the teachers getting kickbacks from Crayola? What happened to paying school fees and the supplies being there waiting? What about the people who don't have that kind of money to spend (I spent over $70)? This doesn't count the clothes and shoes that a kid needs to go out in public. Will they send a child home if he has dollar store crayons?

The place was a madhouse!! The last time I saw that kind of mob mentality was 3 days before Christmas. People were snatching and grabbing like someone would take everything away from them. Items tossed in the floor were being mashed underfoot and hanging up in the wheels of the shopping cart. Poor parents wandered around with lists for 3 and 4 kids, a dazed look in their eyes, trying to keep all the "Who gets what" straight. Kids ran wild in the aisles because Mom or Dad was too busy trying to find the proper name brand of washable marker to make them behave. Single fathers were standing around looking lost, staring at a piece of paper and then at the shelves like they were hoping the proper item will magically jump up and into their cart. Actually, it was a great place to scope out available men and get on their good side by being helpful. But who had the time? I had to find my quota of school booty and get checked out myself.

On the way home, my son made what was, for him, a profound statement. "By the time Drennon (the grandson) has kids in school they’ll want you to send a pint of blood and a spare kidney as school supplies". How true!

School starts in another week, but we're armed and ready. There's a big garbage bag full of stuff waiting to be taken and entrusted to the teacher. It'll take a mule to drag the heavy thing into the school house. How do I know that Drennon will get his stuff and not someone else’s? Why does he need his own tissues and soap? Will I get a letter demanding blood and spare body parts?

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