Monday, October 24, 2005


Now I know what my problem is! I'm brain damaged from all the cigarettes that I've smoked over the past 20 years or so. It says so here and this is a quote:

Henningfield's studies have shown that in an addicted smoker, attention, memory, and reasoning ability start to decline measurably just four hours after the last cigarette. This reflects a real physiological impairment: a change in the electrical activity of the brain. Nine days after quitting, when some withdrawal symptoms, at least, have begun to ease, there has been no recovery in brain function.

How long does the impairment persist? No long-term studies have been done, but cravings and difficulties in cognitive function have been documented for as long as nine years in some ex-smokers. "There are clinical reports of people who have said that they still aren't functioning right, and eventually make the 'rational decision' to go back to smoking," Henningfield says.

See, it's not my fault! The article even goes so far as to claim that smoking is genetic. So can I blame my parents for making me a born-smoker? Naw, that's too easy. I'm just a hedonist. I like food and drink and smoking and sex and all those other things that make you feel all warm and fuzzy and good. What's the use of living if you can't enjoy life?

I've quit a dozen times and I'm trying to quit again but DAMN it's hard. Not to mention that I enjoy smoking. And sex which can kill you nowadays, too. Food, bad for you unless it's raw vegetables (well washed or you'll die from e coli). The Doctor is telling me no bread, no sugar, no pasta, no butter or red meat or ALCOHOL.

Moral support y'all.
I need some back-up on this self deprivation thing. Remind me why living without all the feel-good stuff is worth it.

1 comment:

Milt Bogs said...

I've made a note of the search terms "sagging boobs, senior sex, the annoying thing, redheads have higher pain tolerance" and "senior sex", in the hope that they'll bring me back here again. I'm off to smoke a cigarette, drink coffee, eat bread and make plans for tonight's trip in search of alcohol and women. To hell with a healthy life of self deprivation. :)