Thursday, October 27, 2005


The other day a friend and I made a foray to Pleasures (the local adult store) to check and see if something new and, ah, titillating had come in. You know how it is. After a while the new wears off all your toys, no matter how full your toy box is. The thrill is gone (or at least diminished). Nothing perks up a relationship (human or autoerotic) like the anticipation of a new plaything, the allure of uncharted waters, the excitement of climbing unscaled peaks.

Well you get the general idea. Damn it, I wanted a new vibrator and some silky undies and maybe something in leather and studs. Metal Studs, they don’t sell the flesh and blood kinda stud; although they would make lots more money is they did!

Anyway, we walk in and immediately start to discuss the pros and cons of different models. We’re both nearing 50 and have no small amount of experience in the toy department. And neither one of us embarrasses easily. In other words, we weren’t whispering. We were getting into details of what went where, if we preferred twirling, twisting, smooth, ridged, little pearls mounted inside the shaft, size preferences, etc. etc. etc.

About 10 minutes into our conversation, 3 black ladies came around the end of the aisle and asked us for help. They ranged in age from late 20s to late 30s and wonder of wonders it was their maiden voyage into the wide wonderful world of sex toys! I find it hard to believe a woman can reach 30 and not experiment with mechanical means of orgasm.

I mean come-on people, this is 2005. True, Alabama has been fighting the VIBRATOR WARS for years, but so far Pleasures is still open for business. Women deserve their orgasms! And now-a-days most men are liberated enough and secure enough in their own masculinity that they aren’t intimidated by a little assistance in the bedroom. In fact, lots of them are turned on by the idea of using “Mother’s little helper” on their ladies and watching the fun.

The 3 ladies squealed and blushed and stammered but eventually they settled down to some serious shopping.  We answered all their questions and described how and where and a few variations not mentioned in the written instructions. Such as, “Get an electric one, the batteries don’t last very long”. Or, “If it’s waterproof, you can carry it into the tub for some good clean fun”. And, “Be sure not to pull the cord too hard or you’ll pull it out and kill your vibrator.” Plus, “If you put that one inside and this one on your clit, it’s great”.

After a few dropped items they actually held the various offering, felt the “realistic” skin, and touched the humming vibrators to their arms and tummies to see how the vibrations felt. The ladies even quit whispering, scattered out of their tight little huddle and scattered between the aisles.

Then they were shouting comments to each other all the way across the store. “Girl, where you at? Get your ass over here and look at what I got!” “Dang, that’s Long Dong whats-his name. Looka the size of that thang! ” “Come here and tell me what this is and where am I supposed to put it!”  

The best part was when they hit the B&D section.  Although they didn’t buy anything there, we heard full details of what they would like to do the men in their lives, if only they could get away with it. All this was stated with the cracking of whips and the experimental whop of a paddle. They tried handcuffs on each other and speculated on how drunk a man would have to be before he would submit to the idea of a woman doing a little bondage instead of being the submissive one. I do believe several of the ladies could have gotten into being a dominatrix if only they had a chance.

When they left, all 3 were loaded down with shopping bags and excitedly discussing what they were going to do when they got home. I’d place money that they were 3 very happy women that night!!!

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