Tuesday, April 25, 2006


I've taken a stab at spring cleaning, starting with the carport. Now there's a method to my madness! Dirt gets tracked in from the carport; ergo it's useless to clean the inside before preventing the outside from gaining entry to my humble abode on the soles of my heathen male companions who can't be bothered to wipe their feet.

Blackie's doghouse sat on the carport all winter (Have to take care of my baby, can't let her freeze) and she's scattered her cedar bedding all over the place. No matter how often I clean it up or how many shavings I put in there, she slings cedar chips the length of the concrete. Of course, Chane, Drennon and all their assorted buddies track the stuff inside. I swear, most of the time it looks as if I have cedar carpet! The vacuum is starting to think it's part wood chipper.

I moved the doghouse and shoveled up the cedar chips. But when I started moving other things out of the way, a snake ran out from under a cooler and straight at me! Major mistake for snaky-poo, the shovel was right by me and I'm a blood thirsty bitch at the best of times, but especially when I've had the shit scared out of me.

After I murdered the sneaking snake-under-the-cooler, I did my best Fred Sanford having-a- heart-attack impersonation, except instead of yelling "Elisabeth, I’m coming to join you Honey", I grabbed my heart and screamed "SHIT SHIT SHIT!"

I know, not very original, was it? I hope when my time comes, I'll be able to come up with something more profound and original to say than "Shit"! That's not a statement I want to be remembered for.

This wasn't one of my shedding pair of snakes, it was "only"3 1/2' to 4' long. Perhaps one of their children from several years ago? I don’t know how fast these things grow but I hope the rest of them stay out by the pond or somewhere far, far away. I’m getting tired of this invasion of serpents and may have to take offensive measures, like load the guns and declare war.

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