WEEKEND UPDATE

I’ve decided that I’ll probably live.

For awhile I had my doubts. Anytime someone’s breathing sounds like a rusty hacksaw trying to slice through cast iron there’s something seriously wrong, and that bad metaphor describes me trying to suck some O2 into my poor aching body for the last couple of weeks. My carp-like gasping for air would have made a great sound track for a horror movie; I could have sound-dubbed for a monster lurking in the dark or an obscene phone caller.

I spent the entire weekend rolled up in a quilt and napping. I think the only time I got up was to go to the bathroom, to hunt for more tissue, to swallow more drugs, to refill a never ending glass of green tea and to attend my niece’s wedding.

The wedding was the typical mad rush; complete with pre-wedding jitters and a comedy of errors.

First, almost everyone was late getting to the church. That morning the bride-to-be, at her grandmother’s rural home and already dressed in her wedding gown, locked her keys in her car WITH THE MOTOR RUNNING. They had to call a locksmith from town to come and get the door open; then poor Wendi drove, quote “900 MPH”, to the church. I wish I could remember how she told the story; the way she described her skirts bellowing up over her head and how she was driving with one had on the wheel and the other one holding her dress down was hilarious. Several people saw her but their description was “A red streak flying down the road with a bunch of white material blocking the window.”

Then the flowers weren’t what Wendi ordered, the cake wasn’t cooperating at all, several family members didn’t get to see the ceremony because they were still prepping for the reception and the in-laws-to-be made several rude and crude remarks about how their son was “marrying down” but it all worked out.

Wendi was a beautiful, glowing bride; she and Scott had a wonderful ceremony that went off without a hitch. The reception was great with a big crowd and lots of tasty food (including the lop-sided cake, several folks thought it was supposed to be one of those modern designs!).

I spent most of the wedding fending of relatives. As soon as they’d move in for a hug I’d do the hands-up fending-off motion, explaining that I was sick and didn’t want to contaminate anyone else (which also got me out of kitchen duty). I left right after the reception started to go back home and curl up with my quilt and tissues again but from all reports everything else went well.

Although not completely well, this morning I feel 100% better than I did. I’m sorry I didn’t post any over the weekend. Hell I did good to watch TV and the only time I set foot out of the house was to go to the wedding, but I believe I’m on the mend now and hopefully I’ll soon be back to my ranting raving blogging ways. Did ya’ll miss me?

JELLYFISH BAD DAY

I have to thank my buddy Carol for this one, I almost choked on my Diet Dew reading it.

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work , think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft.Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue, just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I Would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool, so what we do to keep warm is this: we have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well, until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds, my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job." Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself: Is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!

FIRST AMENDMENT DOESN'T COUNT SAYS BUSH

WARNING: I've got my knickers in a wad and Dubya has pissed me off again!

Soon after taking office, President Bush established the White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives, and faith-based offices in departments like Justice and Education. They were intended to increase the federal grant money going to religious organizations, and they seem to have been highly effective. It worked! Figures show that from 2003 to 2005, the number of federal grants to religious groups increased 38 percent. In other words, there wasn't more federal money given out, the beneficiaries just got narrowed down to religious organizations of Bush's choice. If you don't go to the right Church, you don't get a grant even if you save abandoned babies or feed the homeless. Nope, sorry, those dollars are going to our homeboys who vote for us and meet us for Sunday worship.

The Freedom From Religion Foundation and several of its members sued. They say that because the faith-based initiatives favor religious applicants for grants over secular applicants, they violate the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment, which prohibits government support for religion. Now Bush and his cronies are trying to make it illegal for anyone to nay say anything the president does because as U.S. Solicitor General Paul Clement said

taxpayers who believe the White House is unconstitutionally promoting religion should not be accorded legal standing to sue in court. It would be too "intrusive on the executive branch" to permit lawsuits contesting the way the president and his advisers conduct their affairs"

.
Yeah, the government has all the rights and we have none. Excuse me, Mr. Bush Sir, didn't mean to intrude on you while you spend MY MONEY on something I don't approve of or believe in. And just when exactly did we become a dictatorship and not an at least semi-free country? Was there a memo that I missed or something? I know I'm old but back when I went to school and they taught us government we learned about the Constitution and the Bill of Rights and it was made plain that BOTH WERE LAW TO BE OBEYED BY EVERYONE INCLUDING THE PRESIDENT AND HIS HENCHMEN.

In fact, one of the main purposes for both was to limit the ability of our government to run rough shod over us poor peons. So much for separation of Church & State or any real freedom. First our tax dollars are supporting religion, not necessarily the religion of your choice and doing it in a public forum in blatant disregard of our Constitution. Next you'll have Dubya and the Right Wing Nazis pounding ou your door at 2 AM and dragging you out on the street.

In the United States, the structure and wording of the First Amendment with both the Establishment Clause and the Free Exercise Clause, demonstrates that our forefathers were smart enough to know that Religion is power, Government is power and the two combined would result in absolute power. And as everyone well knows:


ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY!.
In a letter written by Thomas Jefferson to a group identifying themselves as the Danbury Baptists Jefferson, quoting the First Amendment of the United States Constitution, writes: "I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, thus building a wall of separation between Church and State".

If Jefferson isn't a good enough source for Bush then there is James Madison, the principal drafter of the United States Bill of Rights, who wrote "Strongly guarded . . . is the separation between religion and government in the Constitution of the United States," and he declared, "practical distinction between Religion and Civil Government is essential to the purity of both, and as guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States"

{{{insert sarcastic tone-of-voice here}}} Of course what did Madison and Jefferson and all the rest of those old guys know? Dubya is driving now and if you don't like it you can lump it. How the hell did we ever get into this bad a shape as a country?

In the immortal words of Bette Davis "Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy night" and I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel until/unless we get someone with some common sense and a much smaller ego than Duba in the White House.
politics Bush First+Amendment Freedom religion faith+based+initiative

WORLD'S OLDEST BLOGGER

I'd like for everyone to go over and say "Hello" to Olive who at the young age of 107 has started her own blog (or "blob" as she calls it). In the picture she's drinking a shandy (beer and lemonade).

Good Morning everyone. My name is Olive Riley. I live in Australia near Sydney. I was born in Broken Hill on Oct. 20th 1899.Broken Hill is a mining town, far
away in the centre of Australia. My Friend, Mike, has arranged this blog for me. He is doing the typing and I am telling the stories. He thinks it’s a good idea to tell what’s going on. He already made a film about me a few years back and people liked that, so they might like this blog too, he says. We’ll see.

I think Olive's quite an inspiration for the rest of us who complain about getting older and thicker around the waist with out creaky joints and such while she's still chipper and taking on political causes such as defending lettuce farmers! So far Olive only has 3 posts but she's on a roll and there ain't no stopping her.

Olive is amazed that people from around the world can and do read her stories, so go and let her know that just because you've got a few years on you doesn't mean that no one will listen to you.

I HAB A COLD

The reason I haven’t been posting anything but news tidbits and such lately is because I’ve been fighting a nasty head cold ever since Friday. I must look as bad as I feel because the guys here are work are following me around, spraying down everything I touch with Lysol so I won’t contaminate the crew and make everyone else sick.

I can’t complain though. Tina has already posted about being housebound by the flu and our youngest sister Lana has been in the hospital ever since last Friday with the flu, bilateral pneumonia, bronchitis and a sinus infection. All this and Wendi’s wedding is this coming Saturday. "When it rains it pours" as the old saying goes.

Tis the season, I guess. I had a flu shot last fall, which may be why I only have a head cold while everyone else is being laid low by the sure ‘nough, real deal flu complete with raging fevers and body aches. I’m not running a fever or anything, just congested and headachy. The worst of it is when I try to sleep, it feels like my head fills up with concrete and there’s a steady nasal drip that driving me nuts (lovely visual ain't it).


The only thing that seems to help is Triaminicin and you can only get that at Walgreen’s (who bought the patent), where they make you do everything but sign away the rights to your first born before they’ll hand over a box of those wonderful yellow pills. The damn druggies have ruined it for us normal folks who just want to get well and get on with our lives.

Maybe I’ll be well in time for the wedding, I sure hope so at least. Ya’ll take care of yourselves. I read on the net that one of the most common places to pick up viruses and germs is the handle of a shopping cart and after seeing all the sick folks shopping for over-the-counter remedies I can believe it. So wash your hands a lot and invest in some liquid hand sanitizer or alcohol wipes and use it as soon as you get in the car. Better to be safe than sorry.

PS: For a little entertainment so visit Cletus, Elroy & Bubba over at the Compleat Redneck blog and read about the RedNeck Hill Climb

INTERESTING............

A documentary "The Lost Tomb of Jesus," will premiere on the Discovery Channel on March 4 at 9 p.m. ET/PT. The show is about crypts (bone boxes) that have been in storage for years and have now gone under rigorous testing and study which seem to prove that they were the final resting place of Jesus's family. Whether you believe or not it ought to make for interesting viewing!

All the crypts were inscribed with names. In addition to "Judah son of Jesus" inscription, which is written in Aramaic on one of the ossuaries, another limestone burial box is labeled in Aramaic with "Jesus Son of Joseph." Another bears the Hebrew inscription "Maria," a Latin version of "Miriam," or, in English, "Mary." Yet another ossuary inscription, written in Hebrew, reads "Matia," the original Hebrew word for "Matthew." Only one of the inscriptions is written in Greek. It reads, "Mariamene e Mara," which can be translated as, "Mary known as the master." Francois Bovon, professor of the history of religion at Harvard University, told Discovery News, "Mariamene, or Mariamne, probably was the actual name given to Mary Magdalene." A mathematical study concludes that the odds are at least 600 to 1 in favor of the Talpiot Tomb being the Jesus Family Tomb. In other words, the conclusion works 599 times out of 600.

The Discovery Channel has set up a special Web site, www.discovery.com/tomb, to provide related in-depth information and to allow viewers to come to their own conclusions about the entire matter. While it's a matter of Christian faith that Jesus of Nazareth was resurrected from the dead three days after his crucifixion circa 30 C.E "The Lost Tomb of Jesus" claims it does not challenge this belief.

Go check out the website, it's fascinating! I plan to watch the show if I'm not working, I love a good challenge and this sounds like one. Part archaeological adventure, part Biblical history, part forensic science, part theological controversy: this is a story that will be carried around the world.

RONDO HATTON CLASSIC HORROR AWARDS

Time to vote for ... The FIFTH Annual RONDO HATTON
CLASSIC HORROR AWARDS!

Vote for your favorite movies, on-line sites, comics and tons more scary stuff. The award site also has a great listing of on-line horror movie sites where you can watch the oldies but goodies for free. I personally like Count Gore De Val's Creature Feature!

HERE COMES THE BRIDE

My niece Wendi (Donna's daughter) is getting married in a few weeks and Donna's been too busy to post, so I thought I'd share a few pics of the happy couple that she emailed to me.

The wedding shower shindig is tomorrow and I gotta work {{{sniff}}}

Taco Bell rats are stars for a day

A TV crew discovered a rat infestation in a KFC and Taco Bell eatery in Manhattan's Greenwich Village on Friday and filmed the vermin through a window of the building. About a dozen rats were racing around the restaurant's floors, playing with each other and sniffing for food as they dashed around tables and children's high chairs. (See the video here)

Damn, I think I'll just quit eating out and start cooking more often. At least then I'll know that that the meat in my taco isn't laced with rodent-feces .

Let's hope they don't learn to make and use weapons like these chimps, or else we might be on the menu next!

I SHOULDA KNEW BETTER

Why is it when the bosses come in and start yammering at us poor downtrodden Flunkies I can't just be quite and fade into the woodwork? Sometimes I fit the proverbial saying:

Don't let your mouth overload your ass.

'Nough said. I need a beer and a warm bath..............

RACEHOSS

I don't recommend a movie very often but I just have to pass on a must see; the free online documentary, Racehoss. showing on America Free TV's Indi channel. UPDATE: I found the offical site for the movie and where you can buy the DVD (the DVD and the book it's based on are also on Amazon) where you can watch the movie, I don't know if it comes in any better or not but worth a try if you have trouble viewing it on America Free TV.

Born in 1930 in Texas of mixed race, his Mama a prostitute, his childhood full of abuse, problems with the Klan, and a 30-year prison sentence at Retrieve (a plantation-style prison known as “the burnin’ hell”). Sample is a born story teller and his story is one worth telling. You gotta go and see it to believe he could survive and come out alive.

You can't make up shit like this; it's the true life story of Albert Race Sample told by himself. This story will bring you to tears and make you laugh at the same time, Mr. Sample talks the way most people wish they could write, and the fact that it's all true makes it even better.

Warning: lots of cussing and racial slurs but the story wouldn't be the truth without them.

Racehoss, Big Emma's Bog-the book

2007-YEAR OF THE FIRE PIG

Hey folks, it's the year of the FIRE PIG . From what all I've read so far it sounds like Fire Pig years have been fraught with incidents: wars, political takeovers, enormous unrest. Wonderful, as if the world have been filled with peace and harmony so far {blogged in a deadly sarcastic voice}.

According to another site, the Annual Forecast for 2007: Year of the Ding Hai - Yin Red Fire Pig - which says in part:

The year symbolises the element Fire sitting over Water. Both these elements are direct opposites and with their clashing relationship, cannot co-exist. This clash of elements will mean frequent international conflicts and serious internal struggles. Civil unrest will lead to uprisings and civil war will break out in several countries, leading to overthrowing of governments. The Female Fire will be quite devastating. Many states will be preoccupied with border disputes, provincial clashes, cross country terrorism and disintegration of existing territories...............

There will be many disasters pertaining to fire and water : fire disasters,volcanic eruptions, wild forest fires, fire arm explosions, bomb attacks, even possible nuclear threats; earthquakes, avalanches, heavy rains, torrential floods, unceasing sea winds, reflux of sea water, defeating atmospheric frosts and melancholic dampness.

There will be many cases of young men marrying older women ............ New comers and females would put on impressive performances this year. In fact, 2007 favours women, especially middle aged women.

The war and natural disasters sound right but I don't know about that last section. If you believe in such things, I was born in the year of the goat and this year is supposed to be happening for us old Nannie Goats:

The beginning of the year is not great - but don't be discouraged. Keep going - a smooth and stable fortune lies ahead. Goats born in 1967 have the best fortune of all the goats this year - it will be a particularly happy year. Male Goats may be under a lot work and family pressure. Female Goats will enjoy a more successful year. If you're an unmarried female Goat, this is an exceptionally great year for romance - your love relationships will be sweet and affectionate.

Yeah, right. "Exceptionally great year for romance " my left foot {or hoof if you please}. I don't remember there being any great demand for plump opinionated over-50 females lately but then again what do I know?

BAAAAAAAAA YA'LL

MY INNER HERO

I went to the "How To Be a Hero" website and guess what? I'm a Wizard! I always knew I had powers of some kind; I just need to learn how to use them (they're calling me a wizard-in-training) in the How to Be a Hero School for Exceptionally Talented Wizards and then I'll be plum dangerous!

As soon as I finish my first mission I'm entitled to join the Famous Adventurer of Silmaria, the first ever FREE online correspondence course that turns unsuspecting netsurfers into legendary heroes! . What is YOUR inner hero?

My Inner Hero - Wizard!

There are many types of magic, but all require a sharp mind and a cool head. There is no puzzle I can't solve, no problem I can't think my way out of. When you feel confused or uncertain, you can always rely on me to untangle the knots and put everything back in order for you.
How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero.

I've already been given a mission:

Your Mission: You were put on this earth to enlighten people. They will listen to you, because they are impressed by your vocabulary, your erudition, and your ability to grasp concepts that invariably elude them. You are the one who has to figure things out, because let's face it - you're the only one smart enough.Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to Discover Something.

Something small, or something big. Find an unknown insect in your own backyard. Discover a cure for sunburn. Develop a faster way to get the dishes done. Calculate the number of molecules in the Andromeda galaxy. Discover a comet. Discover SOMETHING.And do make it a priority. The Famous Adventurer of Silmaria has a crystal ball trained on you, and will be noting your progress.

But the darn thing comes with a warning! Danger, intrigue, magic and bad guys; what else could a woman desire............................

Do you reckon I could get a designer wizard's robe in purple?

CHICKEN KORMA

OK, I know I live out in the sticks. Moulton has a grand population of 3,220 at last count, not exactly what you would call a thriving metropolis. Although we have a ton of fast food places and a couple of decent steak houses the only ethnic restaurant choices we have are 1 Mexican and 1 Chinese. Decatur, the nearest decent sized town, just has a larger number of the same choices.

I'm a better than decent cook, I can knock out everything from Southern comfort food to authentic Italian to some things that just won't fit into any category and get raves from the folks who sit down at the table. But ...... the reason for this post is that although I love cooking and ethnic cuisine, I have to know what flavor I'm striving for in a dish. How do you know when you got "it" if you don't know just exactly what "it" is?

Now lately, it seems that every where I look people are blogging about making Chicken Korma, which sounds lovely but I have no way of sampling it without whipping up a batch at home {hard to do when you have no idea what the finished dish should taste like}. I've done several searches and found lots of recipes but they're all different; some calling for coconut milk, some not, some with almonds others with cashews. Even the spices in the recipes differ. I need help!

So I'm appealing to all my blog-buddies out there. Help a country girl out and pass on a few hints. Where should I start to cook up this so-called tasty Indian dish that others are raving about. Anyone got a recipe you'd like to share?

HOT FLASHES

Hot flashes suck when the doctor yanks out all your girly bits and your body goes totally cattywampus, but now the damn ‘puter is having them too!

A friend installed a new fan last year when I had this same problem; hope it’s not malfunctioning already. I’m gonna get a can of compressed air and give the trusty old CPU a blowjob (get your minds out of the gutter!). There’s probably a ton of dust and cat hair clogging up the works, been awhile since I dragged the processor out and paid some well deserved attention to it.

For now I just keep the computer turned off unless I’m using it. It's so aggravating waiting for everything to boot up and all the antivirus software to scan and report, but it's all I can do right this minute.

Sorry I’ve been MIA, but sometimes real life gets in the way of blogging. I promise to try to do better.

THIS & THAT

My sister Donna just called and asked me in an "oh so sweet" voice if I was OK, she was listening to her police-band scanner and heard that an elderly lady on my road had fallen and gotten injured. The hussy was jerking my chain, accusing me of being elderly! I may be mature but by no stretch of the imagination am I'm elderly yet!

My joints may pop and creak but I haven't gotten helpless by a long shot. Hey, I did 15 minutes of yoga and 15 minutes of core exercises just this morning! I think I was doing good considering I had a kitten jerking on my hair and a 30 pound cat jumping up and down on me every time I got down in the floor! Gotta get in shape before summer gets here, ya know. Not that I plan to model a bathing suite any time soon but I do plan to spend some time hiking in our lovely mountains just 10 minutes away in Bankhead forest. I'll start just as soon as the hunters quit shooting at everything that moves.......

Last Sunday was the first of Donna's daughter Wendi's (that's the 2 of them on the right, Dona's the short one, she's 1" being a Smurf LOL) wedding showers, giver by Wendi's father's side of the family. Wendi really racked up; everyone was trying to lay claim to some of the loot that she scored and she's got another shower on the 25th from our side of the family.As you can see at the right, Wendi was tickled with all her new household supplies and do-dads. Her wedding is next month and Donna is overwhelmed trying to get everything ready. They're doing everything themselves with help from the other sisters and my Aunt Pat (no wedding planner) and the event is taking on a life of it's own. I've got to admit that she's doing a fine job, better than I ever could.

I've decided to be my own barrista. While shopping for Windi's wedding shower present I wound up buying myself this Krups XP1500 Coffee and Espresso Combination Machine. To heck with those $5 drinks from Starbucks and Joe Muggs, I'll make my own and be sure to make them fat-free and sugar-free (I've started a collection of DaVinci sugar-free flavored syrups, No Calories. No Carbs. Sugar Free & tons of wonderful flavors that you can use in coffee, tea or on anything else you want sweetened. It's what the coffee shops use and you can buy it at the grocery store in the coffee aisle).

I'm still experimenting but so far my home-made concoctions ain't bad! I've just got to get my ratio of espresso to milk down pat and them I'll be in business, a little guilt-free something to soothe my sweet tooth after dinner besides pie and cake. Y'all come on by and I'll make you a cup and we'll chew the fat for a while.

THANK YOU!

I went to read my email tonight and was pleasantly surprised to find this lovely note:

Found your blog by accident------love your attitude to life. I work in a warehouse with lots of women who spend all their spare time reading crap about celebrities who they envy and don`t realise that they as hard working good women should live their lives instead of wishing they were someone else in a magazine who is basically a high class prostitute. I intend to show them your blog and tell them (that's how you live life) now get on with it, get off your diet, have fun,and be proud-----if your boy friends don`t think you`re thin enough then get rid of them.

mike

Mike, thank you sooooooo much for the sweet words! While I realize that I'm not totally repulsive, I'd like to lose a few pounds for myself (both for health reasons and my own self-esteem) but it's nice to know that there are wonderful men (like you) out there who appreciate a woman for herself. Don't worry, I plan to enjoy life to it's fullest, but perhaps cut out a donut or two and maybe dance naked around the house a bit more.


It's sad that your female coworkers yearn to be someone else instead of themselves, there's so much more to life. One thing about it, no one has ever accused me of being anything but my own individual self, sometimes too much so! I've always had a habit of doing whatever I want, regardless of if it's socially acceptable or not, and to hell with anyone who doesn't like it.

Once again, thanks for the words of support. You know, you can always join our little band of commenters, I'd love to hear from you on a regular basis!

Damn, I wish I was rich instead of goodlooking.......

Click on picture to enlarge:

It's been a bad week (equipment malfunctions up the wazoo and rookie operators who yell for help when my shit if tearing up too and I don't have time to do both our jobs!) but I've only got one more day to go after today, if I can just get out the door and gone before they lock me in on OVERTIME for the weekend! Wish me luck.......

SEX CRIMES REGISTRY

Every post can't be funny or entertaining, but they can be necessary for your family's safety.

Do you know how safe it is for your kids and grand kids to be out alone in your front yard? Are there any sex offenders living close to your home? Here are the sad facts about sex offenses and those that perpetrate them.

Impact on Society
1 of 5 girls will be sexually molested before her 18th birthday.
1 of 6 boys will be sexually molested before his 18th birthday.
1 of 5 children has been propositioned for sex over the Internet.
2 of 3 sexual abuses are perpetrated against teenagers or younger children.
90% of sexual assaults are committed against someone the perpetrator knows.
The median age for male molestation victims under 18 is 9.8 years old.
The median age for female molestation victims under 18 is 9.6 years old.
There are new 400,000 victims of sexual assault every year.
There are over 550,000 registered sex offenders in the US.
There are over 100,000 sex offenders that fail to register in the US.
76% of serial rapists claim they were molested as children.
Over 40% of male juvenile delinquents were molested as children.

Go and check out Family Watch Dog: Nation Sex Offenders Registry. The thing really works!

Enter your address and it'll show you all the bad guys in your neighborhood, their pictures, what they were convicted of, and how close to a school they live. I was horrified when I tried it, I thought I lived in a nice peaceful part of the country but I found out that there were molesters and rapists within a few miles of my home.

Pass the word around, this website could save a family somewhere from the grief of a child being abused or worse, kidnapped never to be seen again.

PICTURES

It's been a busy weekend so I'll just leave you with some pictures from Karen's birthday party, plus one of Rufus doing his thing.
Karen and her husband Joe.

Karen's son Brock and me.


Me and Sweet Thang


Rufus doing his "You know you want me" kitty porn pose.

OUCH!

Dang, that's a big youngun!

Antonio Cruz, who was born January 28, 2007, weighed in 14 lbs and 21.7 inches long! He lies next to an unidentified, more averaged sized baby at a hospital in Cancun on January 31st.

I feel sorry for this kid's Mama!

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

When I left work at 5 AM this morning there was no doubting that the temperature had dropped drastically overnight, my ears and face immediately felt like what I can only describe as frostbitten. I stepped out of the alleyway and into the street; greeted by an icy wind that body-slammed me and caused me to stagger back several steps before regaining my feet. I ultimately had to hunch over like some wizened old crone and lean into the Arctic blast before making my way toward the clock alley and on to the parking lot. Thank Goddess that someone has scattered rock salt on all the slick patches or else I would have probably broken one of my well padded but semi-elderly hips.

By the time I reached my car all exposed skin was numb & tingly and I felt the first beginnings of that most unbecoming of winter accessories, the dreaded snotsicle, hanging off the end of my nose and my trembling hands had a hard time getting the key in the hole to unlock the car door. I cranked Ozzie up and headed out for the house (at least the wind kept the windshield clear).

About half way home the heater had kicked in and most of my body parts had thawed out except for the blocks of ice where my feet used to be, when I noticed that I had left an almost full Diet Mountain Dew sitting in the console from the day before. Hoping it wouldn’t be too flat I opened the bottle and tipped it up. Nothing came out! Dang, the sucker had frozen overnight! This is supposed to be the Sunny South, what happened to our warm winter that had blessed us so far?

After making it home and taking a long nap with Shitty Kitty snuggling on top of my head ( whither she was keeping me warm or trying to stay warm herself I haven’t a clue, who knows what cats think) I made the mistake of going by Wal-Mart to pick up the pictures from Karen’s surprise birthday party last Friday. I had forgotten that the weather man was predicting snow & ice for tonight and tomorrow.

It’s a long held Southern tradition that anytime anyone anywhere mentions the remote chance of frozen precipitation of any kind falling within a 100 mile radius of your home that one absolutely MUST rush out and buy bread and milk (don’t ask me why, I keep my pantry stocked enough to last for weeks anyway). The parking lot was packed, checkout lines snaked all the way across the store, all the bread and milk was gone and folks were scuffling to get checked out and home so they could sit in front of the Weather Channel and watch the white & pink smudges on the weather map approach Alabama. People were on their cell phones reminding others to hurry and get stocked up on provisions because “It’s gonna snow!” Heck, nothing has fallen yet and they're already either delaying school openings or canceling school altogether.

I managed to grab my pictures and get out so I could make it to work on time. I just hope my relief makes it here in the morning, I don’t feel like getting “snowed in” here at work. Alabama don’t have the equipment or the manpower to clear the roads or scatter salt like the states up North (we don't get enough of the frozen stuff to make our politicians put out that kinda money) and we usually don’t get snow, we get ice storms. I promise you that if I can get out of here, I WILL MAKE IT HOME. The only problem is that the Rednecks around here don’t know how to drive on ice, so it makes for some interesting visuals. Nothing like sitting at a stop sign and watching in the rear view mirror as a 4X4 truck slides toward you sideways with no way to get out of it’s path.......



Most of the pictures came out dark, so I'll have to do a little editing when I get home. This is Karen as the staff of the Mexican restaurant sang "Happy Birthday" to her. (As usual, click on the picture to see a larger view)

PS: MIDNIGHT AND IT'S SNOWING HERE IN NORTH ALABAMA!

AND MY FINE IS...............

I "lifted" this from the Grumpy Old Bitches blog (don't know what the fine is for bloglifting!). I thought it was just too cute to pass up! Plus it'll be interesting to see how our "fines" compare to each others.........

Below is a list of *ahem* activities, each awarded a penalty in dollars. You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.

Smoked pot -- $10
Did acid -- $5
Ever had sex at church-- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
Ever drive drunk -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Peed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25

My fine is: $730.60. Dang, reckon I may have to find a bail bondsman if I don't straighten out my evil ways!

How much is your fine? I tag all of you, of course. Answer in the comment section and no cheating!

BURPPPPPPPPPP

The guys at work have ruined me! They ordered 10 whole chickens from one of the local hole-in-the-wall Bar-B-Que joints nearby and we've all just about eaten ourselves into a coma. In case you didn't know, some of the very best bar-b-que comes from the most disreputable looking establishments. Never judge the quality of the food by the shape of the building or the appearance of the people doing the cooking!

You haven't lived until you've had chicken slow cooked over a hickory fire with home-made Southern style white sauce (sorry to you Yankees, but y'all can't make white sauce for flip). The birds came with potato salad and baked beans, a full course of fine Southern cuisine.

Damn, I think I just popped the button off my jeans!

So much for my so-called diet. But it ain't my fault! These guys twisted my arm and made me eat! Oh Hell Yeah, that's exactly what happened!

Hey, it sounds like a good excuse so "THAT'S MY STORY AND I'M STICKING TO IT!" I'll start a diet tomorrow........... since today's already gone on the wings of a hickory smoked chicken and I've got a surprise birthday party to go to tonight......... and it's being held in a Mexican restaurant. You know I gotta eat again! It's a party and she's my very bestest friend and it would be rude to not go and I can't go and not eat and..... and....... and...............

Fuck it, I'm weak, so sue me. I'll probably drink a picture of margaritas to drown my shame.

SWEET HOME ALABAMA

It seems that Hollywood has taken a liking to my little part of Northern Alabama. First they made the movie "The Adventures of Huck Finn" in historic Mooresville right down the road from me and now I find out that the new release "Constellation" was filmed in Huntsville aka "The Rocket City".

I googled "movies made in Alabama" and was shocked at how long the list was! (the list is not complete, I couldn't find a complete list) Alabama is considered one of the most backward states in the country, who would have thunk that the movie industry loved us that much! I knew we had lots of stars born here: Kate Jackson (Charlie's Angels), Courteney Cox (Friends, Dirt), George Lindsey & George Lindsey (both from Gomer Pyle), Paula Poundstone (comedian) and Lucas Black to name just a few.

We've always been know for our music industry (Alabama Music Hall of Fame) and the huge number of our native musicians but many famous people were born and raised in Alabama and many famous people call Alabama their home today. This includes actors, athletes, authors, politicians and entertainers. These include the great boxer, Joe Louis who was born in Lexington and the infamous singer Nat King Cole, a native of Montgomery. Carl Lewis and Jesse Owens, both famous athletes were also born in Alabama.

After playing with Google for a bit I'm more proud of my home state than I've ever been! Too bad I wasn't one of her rich & famous daughters ..............

NEW LOOK

Well, I broke down and got my hair whacked off the other day, picture to be posted whenever I get someone else to take one. My new cut doesn’t look exactly like the photograph (for some reason a new hair cut never looks like the picture your stylist is going by, or is it just MY hair cuts?) but the “do” did turn out well. I’ve only washed it once and my hair usually takes about a week to train after it’s been reshaped so we’ll see what happens.

I walked into work this morning and got tons of compliments after only sticking my head under the shower and walking out the door with a wet head, finger-combing my newly short tresses in the car on the way to work. Remember, I’m the only female in my department and usually I have to shave my head before anyone notices around here so this is a big change.

Thanks for all the comments and support, I was truly and pleasantly surprised at all the male commentary. Who would have thought that men cared or noticed a woman’s crowning glory? Maybe it’s just that I’ve worked in a male dominated industry for so long that I’m considered “one of the guys” but even they noticed and had nice things to say!

I’m hoping this cut is the start of several changes. I went with Karen (today’s her birthday!) after getting my curls clipped and shopped for a new outfit to wear to Wendi’s (Donna’s only daughter) upcoming wedding. I knew that I need to lose some weight, but when I posed in front of those dressing room triple mirrors (you women know the ones!),
I swear I looked like a female sausage! Damn, do I really look like that or were those mirrors designed by the Devil himself! When the hell did I turn into Miss Piggy?

Looks like I’ve got to get off my abundant arse and motivate myself to sweat off a few pounds plus lay off the pasta and bread. Damn, I hate dieting but it seems that I have no other choice. I’ve got about 6 weeks to get in better shape before the event so I have a deadline to shoot for. Wish me luck.

PS: How'd ya like the new tag thingie that I snatched from apositivepessimist? If you didn't notice it, roll your mouse over one of the words underlined with dots and see what happens. Took me a bit to figure out the coding but by Goddess I did it all by myself! I'd stick out my chest in pride but it sticks out too far alreadyl

OLD GRAY MARE

Oh the old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be
Ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be.
The old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be
Many long years ago.

I've been dying my hair off & on since I was a teenager, hitting every color in Mother Nature's palette and few she never heard of; going from platinum to red to my natural reddish brown. Today I redid my roots and noticed that the gray has gone from a few strands sprinkled here and there to being about 50/50 and my lovely natural color has gone to a dull dark brown. Damn, when did that happen?

I don't usually go in for primping and such; I almost never wear makeup and I'm strictly a wash and go kinda gal, the only time I doll up is the few times I actually go out and even then I usually dress in my bestest jeans and a nice top with a minimum of paint & powder.

I hate doing my roots (it seems as if they grow out in like 2 days) and I'm seriously considering letting my natural hair color grow out and see how I look as "An Old Gray Mare". It wouldn't be such a hard decision if I was one of those people who have a lovely solid white hairdo instead of the salt and pepper thang going on, but I'm 51 and it's time that I quit fighting Mother Nature and see how badly she's treated me. I've found a short hair cut (on the right) that I love and I think that might be the best way to go about it. Cut off most of the dyed stuff and maybe start adding a few streaks as the gray grows out. Hey, if it gets too bad I can always go back on the "bottle"!

What do y'all think? Go "au natural" or dye until I die?

BEST OF BLOGS {BOB} AWARDS

Y'all be thinking of your favorite bloggers because it's time for the BOB Awards! Nominations for the BOB Awards will begin on Friday, February 2, 2007, and will run through midnight EST on February 16, 2007. Following the nomination period, voting begin on March 2, 2007 and the voting will end march 16, 2007 again at midnight EST. Winners in each category will be announced on March 19, 2007. blog winners will be presented their awards at The Blog World Expo is taking place at the Las Vegas Convention Center on November 8-9 2007, in Las Vegas, Nevada.

So be thinking of your favorite blogs in each of many different categories and on February 2 go and nominate them, then let everyone know to go and vote. They'll get to place a snazzy logo on their website and maybe even win.

HOROSCOPE

Saturday, January 20, 2007 ~Scorpio
Junebugg,
An unrealized well of knowledge is finally put to use. A breakthrough concerning your appearance is arriving. Focus on the way you present yourself; it should be open to inspection. Wait to take action, but begin your makeover preparations.

OK, what in hell does this mean? A new hair cut and/or color? Laser surgery to get rid of the specs? Boob reduction?

Heck, I want a full body lift, lipo, my sagging jowls lifted & my cheek bones rediscovered and maybe even a week or two in some trendy spa with a young virile Adonis serving me ice cold drinks while another worthy lad rubs sweet smelling oils on my newly defined body.

If I'm gonna dream, I'm gonna dream BIG!

BIG CRY BABY

“It’ll hurt”.
“Are you hurting now?”
“Noooooo....... but I’m not trying to do anything either. I feel just fine as long as I stay in this recliner”.
“Come on, you’ve got to walk sooner or later”
“It’ll hurt”.
“I know Darlin’, but the doctor said you have to get up and walk the soreness out or you’ll never get to feeling better”.
“But it’ll hurt, I know it’ll hurt. It hurts just thinking about it”.
“Now you know that you’ve got to go back to work in ONE WEEK! It’s gonna hurt a lot more when you have to climb ladders and turn wrenches.”
“I’ll move when I have to, and I don’t have to right now. Please go and get me something to snack on. Where’s the remote?”
“WALK! You’re not crippled, you’ve just gotten spoiled!”
“Yeah, I know but it’s different when you’re a man. Women don’t understand, men are sensitive down there. Just the idea makes ya hurt. I’ll get up and move around when I have to. Where did you say the remote was? Hey, you know maybe if we fooled around a little, I might not hurt as much....... You could always kiss it and make it better”.

"Oh Hell No! You're not blaming me for making you hurt. When you can walk farther than the bed then I'll think about some extra-curricular activities".

I've come to the conclusion that if men had to go through the pain of childbirth, the human race would have become extinct a long, long time ago.

I'm back at work and Sweet Thang is back at his place ALONE, so I guess he'll have to do a little walking since there's no one there to wait on him. Amazing that he can't walk to the 'fridge but he can drive his 5 speed truck.......

NIP & TUCK

I've been out of pocket for the last few days because Sweet Thang had to have out-patient surgery to remove several cysts from his balls nuts testicles. He got sliced and diced on Friday and is still moving slowly and can't ride in a car yet. No nookie is a given, it'll be a while before we can do the nasty but hey, some things are worth waiting for.

I can see all the guys grabbing their crotches and cringing as they read this, I know all the guys at work did when they heard why I'd be playing nurse this week. Actually, the poor feller was in so much pain before he went under the knife that the surgery has been a relief. The Doctor said he'll be as good as new in a couple of weeks. Until then both his parents and I are spoiling him rotten. By the time he gets healed up he won't be worth shooting!

What gets me is several of the men at work claim that they would rather stay in pain instead of getting cut in such a delicate area, and when I mentioned that it wasn't as serious as a woman having a hysterectomy they all got all ill tempered and loud. It seems that they think that because a female's sex organs are all on the inside that it doesn't count and as much as said so. Just goes to show what they know.

Sorry I haven't been visiting my regular blogs, but I promise I'll get around to you as soon as I can.

LIVING TOO LONG?

In other news, Yvonne De Carlo, who played Lily in the hit television comedy The Munsters, died Monday at age 84. I don't know about y'all, but I grew up watching the folks at 1313 Mockingbird Lane, Mockingbird Heights every week.

There goes another one of the icons of my long lost youth {{{sigh}}}.

Damn, I'm getting old!

BOOK MOOCH

I've found the most wonderful site! It's BOOK MOOCH, where you give away and recieve books from all over the world.

It costs nothing to join and the only out of pocket expense is shipping, but there's a 5:1 ratio: you have to send out at least 1 book for every 5 you receive. The system works off of a point system:

Action ~ Points
Add a book to inventory ~ + 1/10th
Remove a book from your inventory ~ - 1/10th
Give away book (within your country) ~ + 1
Give away book (to another country) ~ + 3
Mooch a book (within your country) ~ - 1
Mooch a book (from another country) ~ - 2
Acknowledge receiving a book you mooched ~ + 1/10th

You search for a book you want by title or topic, and if it's not available you can make a wish list and the site will you know when your requested books become available. You can also donate your points to a charity so that someone needy can recieve a book.

If you love to read the way I do this can save some money, plus maybe introduce us to new authors.

It's Time to Bust the Union Busters

We need this done before January 18th 2007.

Most of us never had to build our union. Others who came before us organized it. Today, workers trying to organize are often subjected to illegal activities by the boss to stop them from forming a union.

Most companies today whose workers want to exercise their right to form a union hire "union busters." These high priced lawyers are specialists at intimidation of workers. They routinely advise their clients to break the law by terminating union leaders, knowing they may never even be punished. Then, even if workers overcome all of the scare tactics and illegal firings, chances are the boss will never negotiate a contract with the workers.

The Employee Free Choice Act (EFCA) will give workers the ability to form a union in the workplace freely. This bill that was nearly passed in the House last session will:

1) Guarantee that if a majority of workers in a workplace sign a union card they have their union;
2) Provide stiff penalties for employers who break the law during organizing campaigns by their workers, and
3) Mandate that any first contracts not approved in a reasonable amount of time go to an arbitrator for final decision.

Take action today to pass the EFCA.

1. Check the attached list to see if your Representative is already a co-sponsor.
2. If not, call your Representative and tell them to co-sponsor the EFCA by calling Rep. George Miller's office and adding their name.
3. If / When your Representative has co-sponsored, call your U.S. Senators and tell them to do the same by calling Sen. Kennedy's office.
4. Report to your Rapid Response District Coordinator on new co-sponsors. (number & email at bottom)

When you call, tell your Representatives and Senators:

*1 in 5 leaders of union organizing campaigns are illegally fired.
*The EFCA will level playing field for workers to organize.
*This is America and no one should fear for their job just for trying to form a union!

Representatives Already Co-sponsoring EFCA ~ Representative/District /State

Ross/AR-04
Clay /MO-01
Grijalva/AZ-07
Butterfield/NC-01
Matsui/CA-05
Price/NC-04
Woolsey/CA-06
Miller/NC-13
Miller/CA-07
Pomeroy/ND
Lee/CA-09
Shea-Porter/NH-01
Tauscher/CA-10
Hodes/NH-02
Stark/CA-13
Andrews/NJ-01
Honda/CA-15
Rothman/NJ-09
Farr/CA-17
Payne/NJ-10
Sherman/CA-27
Holt/NJ-12
Berman/CA-28
Udall/NM-03
Schiff/CA-29
Berkley/NV-01
Waters/CA-35
Bishop/NY-01
Millender-McDonald/CA-37
McCarthy/NY-04
Baca/CA-43
Nadler/NY-08
Filner/CA-51
Velazquez /NY-12
Davis/CA-53
Maloney/NY-14
Salazar /CO-03
Engel/NY-17
Larson /CT-01
Hinchey /NY-22
Courtney/CT-02
Higgins/NY-27
DeLauro/CT-03
Kucinich/OH-10
Wexler/FL-19
Sutton/OH-13
Bishop/GA-02
Ryan/OH-17
Johnson/GA-04
Space /OH-18
Lewis/GA-05
Wu/OR-01
Abercrombie/HI-01
DeFazio/OR-04
Boswell/IA-03
Hooley/OR-05
Gutierrez/IL-04
Brady/PA-01
Davis/IL-07
Altmire/PA-04
Bean /IL-08
Murtha /PA-12
Schakowsky/IL-09
Schwartz/PA-13
Hare/IL-17
Doyle /PA-14
Donnelly/IN-02
Holden/PA-17
Carson/IN-07
Cooper/TN-05
Yarmuth/KY-03
Green/TX-09
Chandler /KY-06
Hinojosa/TX-15
Olver /MA-01
Green /TX-29
Capuano /MA-08
Moran /VA-08
Ruppersberger/MD-02
Welch /VT
Wynn/MD-04
Inslee /WA-01
Hoyer /MD-05
Baird /WA-03
Van Hollen/MD-08
McDermott/WA-07
Allen/ME-01
Baldwin /WI-02
Kildee/MI-05
Kind/WI-03
Kilpatrick /MI-13
Moore/WI-04
Conyers, Jr. /MI-14
Obey/WI-07
Dingell/MI-15
Kagen /WI-08
McCollum /MN-04
Mollohan /WV-01
Peterson /MN-07
Rahall /WV-03
Oberstar /MN-08


USW Rapid Response (412) 562-2291
http://www.uswrr.org
It's Time to Bust the Union Busters!

HOW DODGY ARE YOU?

Found this quiz at Carina's. Here's my results, it seems that I've been a bad, bad girl!

Scoundrel
More than a bit naughty - you're heading for a spot of bother at this rate - that is if you're not already inside. You don't have to be perfect, but if no one says you're a bad person, they're wrong. You are. Based on your answers, we have calculated the maximum penalty for your crimes*:
Years in prison: 111 - Potential fine: £7000

I don't think I'll live that long..........

NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP

The feather touched lightly just below my elbow; slowly sensually stroking down and around my arm, a spiral trail crossing pallid blue traced skin. The shocking part is the moist crimson line marking the feather’s path, drops of blood welling up and gently rolling down my forearm like glistening red tears. But there’s no pain, no sensation of any kind. Only numbness and a solitary body part weeping bloody tears in silence.

I jerk straight up in bed....... panting for breath, my heart pounding in my chest. Only a dream, it was only a dream.......

AS THE COOKIE CRUMBLES

Tonight's Chinese take-out fortune cookie said:

Be prepared for extra energy.

Does that mean I'm gonna have some or that I'm gonna need some? I'm soooooooo confused..................

NEVER LET 'EM SEE YA SWEAT.......

I hope everyone had a Happy New year, I know I did! The place was packed, the band was rocking and for once there wasn't any bloodshed or mayhem. Sweet Thang and I both indulged in copious amounts of alcohol, partied until the band quit around 3:30 AM, staggered upstairs and passed out on what had to be the most comfortable bed I've ever lain on; Marriott has it going on I'm here to tell ya!

The next morning we checked out and hit IHOP where the waitress surprised us both by commenting that it was nice to see a couple who wasn't fighting after celebration New Year's together. I was amazed, she was serious and swore that almost every couple who has come in were feuding and fighting. WTF: why would we be fighting? Unless maybe someone kissed the wrong someone at midnight? Maybe it was just the hangovers talking ( I didn't have one, Yeah!) If I thought it would have caused a fight I wouldn't have gone. Then again, if 2 people can't enjoy a night out together without fighting maybe they shouldn't be together.................

In other news, some folks are getting a little carried away and personal with the New Year's resolution shit. I was standing in the check-out line at Hell-Mart while 2 strangers behind me discussed diets and how much weight they planed to lose when this one woman (who I had never seen before) turned to me and asked "How many pounds are you going to lose?"

What I wanted to say was "Bitch, it ain't none of your business!" but what I did was lock eyes with the nosey hussy (the way you would to show dominance to an over-aggressive dog) and state in a very condescending tone of voice "Haven't you heard all the medical reviews in the news that state dieting is unhealthy and leads to all kinds of eating disorders? I just plan to be healthy and happy and let the uneducated masses worry about a number on the scale" before checking out and walking away, leaving her & her friend in my dust with their mouths hanging open while she searched in vain for a suitable come-back.

I told the truth; All I want is to be healthy. To be able to spend an entire afternoon playing with my grandson, go for a long walk in the mountains or make love all night without getting out of breath and worrying about a heart attack. I don't care if I'm a size 2 or a 12 (although I would love to lose a pound or two), I just want to feel good in my own skin and be healthy and happy.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Sweet Thang just called me here at work and told me to pack a bag when I get home because he has made reservations for us both at the Marriott in Huntsville for the New Year's Eve bash and that one of my favorite local bands, Microwave Dave & the Nukes will be playing. See why I call him Sweet Thang!

Looks like I'll be out of pocket for a while so:

MAY EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU HAVE A YEAR

FILLED WITH LOVE AND HAPPINESS.

PS: Jan. 1 is Bab's birthday. Go by and say Hi!

SNAKE FARM

TURN YOUR SPEAKERS UP! & check out the video. I just got this album "Snake Farm" by Ray Wylie Hubbard (I'd never heard of Hubbard who's from Texas, but the album was recommended by a friend). The more I listen to this gritty blues/rock tour-d-force, the better I like it. Click on the Amazon link to the left if you wanta order it.

Snake Farm Video - Ray Wylie Hubbard lyrics

Ray Wylie Hubbard Music Videos

Music Video Codes by VideoCure

HO HO HO

I recieved a late Christmas present today. Ain't they cute? I think I'll just keep the whole litter, I don't think there's a runt in the bunch!

BELATED HO HO HO YA'LL.

SUNSHINE ON MY SHOULDERS

One of the things about living in the South is the never-what-you -expect weather. Last Tuesday it was in the 20s with the weatherman erroneously predicting snow flurries and now:

BUTTERCUPS! It's in the high 60s outside and after taking a small nap I spent the afternoon raking the yard wearing a tank top. My place is covered with fallen leaves, but that's not why I was sweating & raking. It was because when you have young.......

They tend to go out and find stuff to strew all over the place, like whatever it was in the back yard.......

Bad Dogs, Bad Bad Dogs! I just hope it wasn't some kid's Christmas present, because it sure didn't come from my house!

Now if ya'll will excuse me, I've got a pot of white chili (made from the last of the bird) simmering on the stove; the aromas of cumin and peppers wafting through the house, and I need to put a pan of cornbread in the oven. Not that sweet shit either. REAL CORNBREAD, made with buttermilk and baked in a time-seasoned cast iron skillet that is reserved for cornbread cooking alone (I'll get ill in a hurry if you try to fry something in my cornbread pan! It takes years to get one seasoned just right, and I've had the thing since 1974.)

Damn, I love living in the South.

I'M AN INTERNATIONAL PORN STAR!

I was tweaking both Donna and my blog templates last night, adding some of the new (at least to me) Technorati widgets like the link count doo-hickey shown at the right. The thing actually counts links to a post even if the linker didn't bother to do a trackback. It's wonderful to be able to see who thinks you're witty enough to link to, don't ya think!

Any who, the entry where Donna posted a picture of me had a "reaction". When we clicked on it we were carried to this Technorati page. When we checked the links to it from there here's what we found:

4 links to this URL sorted by freshness authority
Film porno gratis 43 days ago in Film porno gratis · 4 blogs link here
Friendly blogs Video sexe Password erositalia Luna papaFilm porno gratis Tette a pera Video sexe
45 days ago in Video sexe · 5 blogs link here
Friendly blogs Foto gratis lesbo Video sexe Password erositalia Luna papa
Film porno gratis Tette a pera Luna papa
45 days ago in Luna papa · 4 blogs link here
Friendly blogs Video sexe Password erositalia Luna papa Film porno gratis Tette a pera Password erositalia
57 days ago in Password erositalia · No blogs link here yet
Friendly blogs Video sexe Password erositalia Luna papa Film porno gratis Tette a pera

Yep, I guess I'm famous as an international Porn Star now (fluffs hair, attempts to hold in gut and strike a semi-sexy pose without falling on my ample ass). How about Bogue de Juin (Junebugg in French) as a stage name? Hell, it sounds better than Insecto de Junio (Junebugg in Spanish), that sounds like a character out of the old SiFi movie "The Wasp Woman".

I'll be signing autographs at $5 a pop just as soon as I get a day off if any of ya'll are interested.

I guess I'll have to let Donna be my manager since she's the one who started me on the road to my new found life of sin (choke, gasp, sputter ....... erm .......... I'm OK now). Hey! I was Sweet and Innocent before she did this to me (ducks and looks around for a lightning bolt to strike her for lying!).

I recommend you check out the Technorati link count widget. It's easy to add to your template, if I can do it anybody can. Besides........you never know who or what is hooked linked to your stuff, now DO YOU?